It can seem like a difficult job to protect yourself or your child from online dangers.Learning to identify grooming behavior can help you spot potential predators.Your child should be taught that they are in control over who touches them, as well as their online communications.Even if they're nice, watch them closely.An adult who is good at interacting with children is not a child molester.Sometimes innocent actions can seem like grooming.
Step 1: Do you want to know if someone gives special attention to your child?
When a predator grooms a child, they will give them special attention.This could be part of a special relationship.If the person is spending more time with your child, they should give them a lot of praise.If your child is telling a lot of stories about someone, you should notice.Parents of your child's friends, teachers, counselors, bus drivers, and family friends should be paid special attention.Most teachers, counselors, and coaches only want to help your child.It is possible that they are paying special attention to your child because of their talent or need.A coach might pay special attention to their best player.Ask questions to be sure.
Step 2: There are offers to help with household tasks for free.
If someone is grooming your child, they will want to have access to them.They need to be in your house a lot.It is common for groomers to babysit, fix things around the house, or do household remodeling projects.If someone is offering to help you, make sure they aren't asking for anything in return.It is possible that they are just being nice, because offering help doesn't make someone a predator.If this is a sign of grooming, consider the person's relationship to you and your child, as well as if they are showing other signs.
Step 3: The person may try to spend time alone with your child.
They may offer to help your child with school or sports.Most of the time, these trips won't include other adults.Try to make surprise visits to check on your child when they go on these types of outings.A camp counselor may offer to take your child on a camping trip after camp is over, for example, if the soccer coach wants to run drills after practice.Don't let your guard down because other kids will be there.A child might be invited to spend the night with their parents and their own children.Don't hesitate to ask questions and look for other signs of grooming just to be sure, while this may be innocent.
Step 4: If an adult is trying to befriend your child, pay attention.
A potential predator will offer to be your child's friend if you trust them.They might play video games with your child.Make sure you know who your child is spending time with.It is possible for a person to befriend you and your child at the same time.An adult who doesn't have bad intentions should not object to you or another adult being present.
Step 5: If your child has a relationship with an adult, talk to them.
It's normal to be worried about your child, so don't hesitate to look into a situation you find suspicious.Don't alarm your child by sharing your concerns about the adult, but gently ask them questions to make sure that everything is okay.They should tell you how they met the person, what they do together, and what's going on.How did you meet your friend?What are you talking about with your friend?What do your friend like to do?Does your friend give you gifts?Did your friend give you ice cream or candy?Do your friends have children you play with?Do you feel confused when you're with your friend?
Step 6: If someone is sharing information with your child, notice.
They might include dirty jokes, information about sex, or details about their love life.No one should be telling your child these things.If something sounds off, ask your child what it is.When your child is spending time with someone, ask them what they talked about.You might say that you heard about the underwear.Did you have fun at baseball practice today?What was the coach telling you after it ended?
Step 7: It's a good idea to watch for accidental, innocent, or unusual touching.
As part of the grooming process, a potential predator will try to casually touch their target so that the child will get used to it.It's easier for a predator to get to sexual touching.If someone touches your child, be aware.Ask your child how they feel about the touch.The child might be accidentally touched by the groomer.They can touch your child by giving them a quick hug or pat them on the back.It might include tickling or wrestling with your child.
Step 8: If someone is buying gifts for you child, pay attention.
This is one way a groomer can get your child to like them.They might surprise your child with items they need.They might offer to take your child's favorite treats or bring them with them.If you notice when someone is spending money on your child, you can find out why.It is possible that the gifts are innocent if it is around the holidays or your child's birthday.Before you decide if the behavior is grooming, consider the person's relationship to your child and if they are doing other grooming behaviors.It is normal for relatives to give a child gifts.
Step 9: Someone might want you to keep your relationship a secret.
You don't want other people to know that someone is grooming you.They want you to keep your communications a secret.They might say things like, "No one can know but us," or "If people found out, we'd both get in trouble."Talk to your parent, guardian, or trusted friend if you have concerns about a relationship.
Step 10: A person is trying to get you to trust them.
Someone who is grooming you will want to help them take advantage of you.A groomer will try to get you to trust them quickly.They offer you advice.While you are going through a problem, they will be there for you.They show how others are not trustworthy.They say they are going through the same thing as you.They are presented as an authority figure.They compliment you.Your thoughts are validation by them.They are pretending to reveal important details about themselves.
Step 11: You should watch for attempts to get you alone.
The person may offer to help or take you somewhere special.Don't go off alone with someone.If it is okay to invite others to see how they react, ask them.Always tell someone where you are going.They may invite you to meet them at a park or at their home.They may offer to tutor you or show you something they just bought.It may be a sign that something is wrong if you ask to bring someone else and they get mad, upset, or suggest rescheduling to a time you'll be alone.They might try to convince you that it's okay.They may try to convince you that you will have more fun alone.They might say "We'll have more fun if we go by ourselves," or "There's only room for the two of us, so we might not get to go if you invite someone else."
Step 12: Ask if someone is buying you stuff for no reason.
It is common for someone to buy a gift for the person they are grooming.It is a cause for concern when someone is showering you with items.Let your parent or guardian know if someone is buying you something.Mom, I have an older friend who has recently bought me a lot of clothes and jewelry.Do you think that is okay?
Step 13: Someone may lie about their age, personal details or interests.
It may be difficult to recognize when someone is telling a lie, but that is okay.As you get to know them, keep an eye on the stories that change or get incorrect.If you find out something is a lie, stop talking to them.If the names of their family members change, if they have trouble remembering something they told you before, or if their interests suddenly change to match yours, notice.When you meet a guy in person, you realize he is much older than you thought.Don't stay in the relationship and tell a trusted adult.
Step 14: If someone tries to have sex with you, pay attention.
They might try to turn innocent people into criminals.This can be a sign that they are grooming you.Tell them you don't like what they're saying.Let a trusted adult know what is happening.They will bet you need a massage if you say soccer practice was tough today.This is not okay, I'm imagining giving you one.They might start a conversation with something like, "What are you wearing?"
Step 15: If someone touches you without your permission, notice.
A person who is grooming you might try to hug or pat you.They might be trying to see if you'll allow them to touch you.If someone touches you, especially if it makes you uncomfortable, tell them to stop and talk to someone you trust.Say, "I don't like to be hugged."
Step 16: Your child needs to be taught about grooming and inappropriate touching.
Talking to your child about dangers is the only way to learn about them.Talk to them about how a predator might groom them.Explain that it is not okay for people to touch them without their consent.They can come to you at any time.It is not okay for anyone to touch you, especially on your private area.If someone touches you in a way you don't like, tell me about it so I can make sure you're safe.Your child may be less likely to tell you something that will upset you since they want you to be happy.
Step 17: You should know all of the adults in your child's life.
They include their teachers, counselors, bus drivers, coaches, religious leaders, parents of friends, neighbors, etc.To get a feel for who they are, meet them and ask them about themselves.Listen to your child so you can see if there is a new adult in their life.You can meet with the faculty at your child's school open house.You can visit the homes of your child's friends.You should attend your child's sports practices.Ask about people you don't know if you listen to your child's stories.
Step 18: If your child wants to give affection, let them choose.
Your child will be able to recognize when someone is hurting them if they have boundaries.Inform your friends and relatives that you need your child's consent for hugs, kisses, or cuddles.Help your child make their decisions by walking them through the process.When you see your child's grandmother at a family event, say, "Look, grandma is here!"Do you want to hug her?Good job speaking up.
Step 19: Make your child more resistant to grooming by building their self-esteem.
Potential predator are good at spotting children who don't have confidence or good self-esteem.The child will be vulnerable to them if they fill that gap.Giving your child lots of praise will help them recognize their strengths and support their dreams.Tell your child that you love them.I am so proud that you are my child.
Step 20: You should check your child's phone and messaging apps to see who is talking to them.
It is important to know who your child is talking to.They will try to establish a relationship with your child.They can do this on their phone, on social media, or through messaging apps.Make sure you know who your child is talking to.It is possible to install parental monitoring software on your child's phone and computer.Get your child's passwords for their online accounts.