Talking to your parents about something important can be scary, but that is okay.Even if you have a good relationship with your parents, you still need to discuss important issues in your life.It is possible to reduce the fear and anxiety you may have about talking to them about an important issue or problem with proper planning and going about it the right way.
Step 1: Before you talk to your parents, make a plan.
Before you talk to your parents about something important, you need to figure out what you want from the conversation.The way you approach the conversation with your parents can be influenced by how you decide on a goal.If you need advice or help with something, the way you approach an important conversation is different than if you asked permission to do something.Before you talk to your parents, write down what you want to say.You can bring your notes with you when you talk to your parents.
Step 2: Rehearse the conversation with a friend.
Try to act out the conversation with a close friend or family member that can help you out.It can be helpful to have someone give feedback and to know that you have prepared the best you can.Choose a friend, sibling, or family member that you know will be honest and give you feedback that can help you shape the conversation to be the most effective it can be.
Step 3: You can either talk to both parents at the same time or at different times.
If it is really important, you should include both parents, even if you feel like approaching a certain parent could help you.Your parents will appreciate the input you give them, which will help the conversation go easier.If your parents aren't together, try to include one of them on a phone or video callIn the evening after work or at dinner, both parents are more likely to be open to a conversation.The dinner table or living room are appropriate places for important conversations.The car or school is not a good idea because there are other things to think about.
Step 4: Take a deep breath and relax.
Your parents may not take your thoughts seriously if you start the conversation stressed out.Talking about important issues with your parents means you need to approach the conversation calmly and maturely, and you can focus your thoughts by controlling your breathing.
Step 5: It's a good idea to say the issue clearly and to the point.
To show your parents that you are serious, cut to the chase and address the topic head-on.A direct statement like, "So, listen, I need to talk to you about my curfew" will turn the conversation to the issue you want to discuss.When it comes time to talk about the issue or problem you are having, it should be all about showing your parents how important it is.
Step 6: Be transparent.
You should not beat around the bush for important issues.You should keep a professional tone as you talk about the issues.If you are honest and direct, your parents will listen better and be more helpful.You can say something like, "I don't feel that it's fair or appropriate for me to not be allowed to date."Tell them if you are worried or scared.They need to know your thoughts and feelings so they can help you.If your parents start to get upset or hesitant, don't argue with them.Don't become emotional if you get to say everything you want to.If you start to get lost in what you want to say, use your notes.
Step 7: Ask your parents if they have any thoughts.
When you have said everything you wanted to say, ask your parents what to do next.They will appreciate that you are asking for help.If they have any questions, you can answer them.You could ask them, "I know that you both have strong feelings about where I go to college, but I also feel strongly about it, and this is a great opportunity for me."Communication is a two-way street, so keep the avenue open and welcome their input or advice.You can still ask them for advice on what you can do about it even if you have to discuss it.Showing humility and asking for help is a sign of maturity.
Step 8: Understand.
No matter what your parents say, you need to understand where they are coming from.Don't get angry if they deny a request.Try to understand why they made the decision, even if you don't agree with it.It is possible to show your parents that you understand their point of view.If you act maturely and keep your cool, your parents are more likely to see you as an adult.