You used to be a happy couple.You broke up after things changed.Your ex pops up at your workplace, parks in front of your house, sits two tables away from you, hides behind a newspaper, and sends you gifts, postcards, emails and text messages begging you to come back.Every hour of every day, not just once.You are being followed.You need to stop this obsessive behavior because it will drive you crazy and be dangerous.
Step 1: If you think you are in danger, call the police.
Do not hesitate to call for help if you are worried about your safety.Make sure you describe where you are when you call in.If you can, remain calm and explain the help you need.The more details you give, the quicker the help can be sent.Don't hang up until the person on the other end tells you to.
Step 2: Cut through your denial.
Accepting that you are being followed is the first step to stopping a stalker.A small irritant is not a problem of stalking.It can be dangerous and should be avoided.Anyone can be a victim of a stalker.It is not a sign of weakness to be concerned about your ex and what he or she might do.Only when you do that will you be able to stop it.Don't worry about overreacting.You don't need to tolerate someone else's behavior if you feel scared, worried, or angered.If you are worried, act quickly.
Step 3: Do not confront your stalker.
His behavior will only confirm his belief that it is working.Ignore gifts, calls, and any attempts he makes to contact you.Do not respond or return them.You can't reason with a stalker.No matter what you say, this person will follow you.This kind of reaction will encourage him to keep trying to stay in touch with you.
Step 4: Tell others.
Let others know if you think you are being followed.Tell people you trust.If they think something is wrong, they can call the police.Don't demonize your stalker when you tell others.You don't need to tell others how bad he is.demonizing him can help escalate the situation with others.In addition to your circle of friends, consider talking to a group like HAVEN, which can provide support, encouragement, and legal advice for someone facing a stalker or abusive relationship.
Step 5: Stalking activities should be kept a record.
Along with when and where it took place, note exactly what happened.You should keep a record of every phone call, text, email, and confrontation you have.This will be important evidence if the situation gets out of hand and you need to take legal action.If you're worried that your ex has access to your computer, or other means of manipulating an online list, you might want to write it down in a journal.This is less susceptible to outside tampering.Texts, emails, and phone calls are not evidence of stalking.You can show that the email came from your ex, but that doesn't mean he sent it.When building a case for a restraining order, these can be helpful evidence.
Step 6: A restraining order can be obtained.
A restraining order is a court order that prevents a stalker from contacting you.You can fill out a petition for a restraining order at your local courthouse.An affidavit is needed to explain what your stalker has been doing.Your record of his actions can be helpful.Since this is a legal document, you may want to consult a lawyer.You can reach out to the domestic violence hotline or other staff members in the courthouse if you want, because lawyers can be expensive.A restraining order is not a guarantee.It can make it easier to prosecute, but won't stop him from stalking you.You need to be prepared to defend yourself.
Step 7: Prepare to defend yourself.
You don't know if your stalker will put you in danger, so you need to be prepared.Keeping yourself alert and out of dangerous situations is part of self-defense.Staying alert when walking around and having your car keys out is one of the self-defense techniques that can be done.Don't allow yourself to be an opening for someone else.You can find self-defense classes in your area.They can be found through police departments or local schools.Basic training in martial arts can give you the skills and confidence to defend yourself, at least long enough to escape to a safer place.Having pepper spray on you is a good back-up plan if you haven't learned new techniques or are not comfortable using them.
Step 8: It's time to change your daily routine.
Your ex will be able to keep an eye on you because she knows you so well.Modification of your favorite places and routes will prevent her from following you.Look for places that you can easily change, like the gym or places you shop and eat.If you can find a different way to get to your important locations, your stalker won't be able to follow you along the way.If you are concerned for your safety, it is always a good idea to ask if you can change your school and work hours.Paper records of the financial effect drastic changes to your schedule will have on you should be kept.If the changes are serious enough, this can be used as a basis for financial reimbursement.
Step 9: You should change your passwords.
Your ex might know a few of your passwords to things like social media accounts and email, as well as more sensitive information like your bank account.She can mess with these items or use them to track your activity.Make sure your password is safe.If you want to make your password a combination of upper and lower case letters, numbers, and symbols, the traditional advice is to do so.Passwords should only be entered on secure websites.Taking the first letter of each word, plus numbers and symbols, in two simple sentences can be used to create a strong password.My first pet was a dog named Fido.I got him in 1993.The password would be "MfpwadnF.Ghi 1993."It has a mixture of upper and lower case letters.It's hard for someone else to figure it out since it doesn't appear in a dictionary.It should be easier for you to remember since it only refers to a sentence.
Step 10: Use anti-viruses software.
There are many good products that will keep your computer safe.Make sure your computer has an up-to-date security system.Take it if it gives you the option to update automatically.If your ex is particularly tech savvy, he may try to use a virus orTrojan horse application to track your movements and computer activity without getting on your actual computer.Get rid of anything that might be used to follow you and use the anti-viruses software to keep your computer clean.
Step 11: Your social network needs to be cleaned up.
Tracking someone can be done with online social networks.It's a good idea to clear out your social media accounts to prevent your ex from following you.Your privacy settings should be changed so that only your friends can see your posts.Unfriend your ex so that he can't follow you through the network.Ignore all friend requests from him.People who know your ex and let him keep an eye on you should be careful about adding new friends.If you are worried that your ex will use their friends to track you, unfriend them.It may feel mean, but that is not important.You cannot overreact to a stalker.Don't post anything that will let your ex find you quickly.It means avoiding landmarks that would let someone know where you are.
Step 12: You should make your online materials private.
Your personal calendar would allow a stalker to follow you and know where you are going.If you frequent any websites that have privacy settings, make sure they are not accessible to anyone you wouldn't want to see it.To find out what is connected to you, run your name through a search engine.If you find information about yourself that you don't want to be public with, get rid of it.Asking your friends to remove social media posts that tag you is one way to do that.
Step 13: There are signs of control in your relationship.
Control is what stalking is about.Your partner is more likely to try to control you after you break up.Belittling you, putting you down, or discouraging your dreams are some of the signs.It's trying to cut you off from your family and friends.He tries to keep you away from him.When you do something without him, you get jealous.Constantly checking on you, wondering where you are and what you're doing.It is not a guarantee that you will be followed, but it is a sign that your ex might try after the break-up.
Step 14: It's time to make your break up clear.
It is certain that you have ended the relationship with this person.There can be no confusion if you don't want to see this person anymore.You need to be clear that you want to end the relationship if you are tempted to let your ex down.A stalker will use a potential opening as an excuse to continue following you.Break up in a public place if you are afraid of the other person.If you are concerned for your safety, you shouldn't be alone.First, your security.
Step 15: Cut off contact.
Phone calls, emails, texts, and any other forms of communication are what this means.It will help you get past the relationship if you don't give her a way to track you.Social media is included.You can block your ex by removing pictures of the two of you together.It will be easier to move on if she doesn't have the means to follow you.
Step 16: Get your keys back.
Sharing keys and other items is a way to stay close.Get your keys back now that you've broken up.She doesn't want to have access to you or your things.Changing your locks is a good idea if you can't get your keys back.You should not allow easy access into your home to someone you don't want to see anymore.