Are you being raised by a mother who only cares about her needs and not yours?If she doesn't realize it she can cause a lot of damage to a child's self worth and self esteem, not to mention the fact that many of your needs may not be met.Despite being hurt by your mother, you can overcome her emotionally absent behavior and become a caring individual.
Step 1: It is important to acknowledge and grieve the loss of a mother.
A real mother puts her child's physical and emotional needs above her own, however if you've lived or are currently living with a narcissistic mother, her needs must be met first.Don't try to figure it out.In some cases, your mother was the victim of abuse.In other cases, your mother may not have realized that the world has more people than she does.This situation isn't your fault.She has never managed to rise above this challenge and cherish yourself in a way that you can.If you had a different mother, the situation would be more painful.You should go through the grieving process.You have finally realized that your mother will not change and that you have been given a mother who is solely caring for herself.Give yourself time to grieve.
Step 2: Don't try to change your mother.
Maybe you believe that if you get a big promotion at work your mother will recognize you and be proud.You have done nothing wrong, but any act of greatness will be wasted on a narcissist.
Step 3: A strong support system is needed.
You should surround yourself with people who care about you and your well-being.It could be your friends, relatives or boyfriend/girlfriend if you're still living at home.Adults can turn to their spouse or friends as well.If you have children and are an adult, don't use their love as a crutch.If you want to turn to your child when your mother is upset, stop yourself and reprogram your emotions.Children will misunderstand what you are trying to tell them and they may become concerned that the same thing could happen to them.If you can't get the support you need, talk to a trained therapist who can suggest a support group for your children.
Step 4: You should distance yourself from your mother.
Getting away from someone like this may be the only way to heal.If you still live at home, don't get close.When other people pull away and act as though they are taking interest only to go back to their old ways once they have captured the attention of their audience, it's usually a sign that they're not really interested in the first place.If you want to maintain minimal contact with your mother at home, consider her behavior as an amusement, which is nothing serious and has no weight on your life.Don't stay with your mother.If you live in different towns or states, limited contact will work best for you.If you find that talking on the phone with your mother gets you upset, don't allow her to take you off guard, upsetting you and ruining your day, only take phone calls when you are mentally prepared to deal with her.A level of contact makes you feel comfortable.Do whatever you can to heal if you abandon the relationship and never look back.Some children may feel obligated to provide financial assistance to their mother because they feel guilty letting go.She is part of your family, so do allow yourself to provide for her if this is not weighing on your spirit.You don't have to do it if it causes you too much of a burden.Whatever you do will give you healing from the situation.Maybe you could have a casual relationship."How's the weather?" could be a small talk you could have with your mother.The cold has been very cold.Avoid anything that isn't a surface-level relationship.