You don't want to see someone engaging in harmful behaviors when you care about him.Smoking can have both of these effects.He will give up the habit if you help.You can't force someone to quit, and the decision to do so is his.
Step 1: Statistics shouldn't be cited.
Your boyfriend knows that smoking is bad for him, and he wants to quit.It will not be helpful to say facts about diseases, life expectancy, etc.It makes them do it more if they are told to stop smoking.Trends in people's behavior and the role of addiction in smoking may be what you want to focus on.Smoking rates have been going down over the past several decades, and many people have successfully quit.Since many people start smoking to feel part of a group, knowing that their behavior is rare may encourage them to quit.It is possible to help your boyfriend realize that he does not have control over his life if you point out that smoking is an addiction.He might try to quit in order to be more independent.
Step 2: Everyone is not the same.
It also means that different people want different levels of support and that the same strategies won't work for everyone.Talk to your boyfriend to find out what he needs.It is possible that your boyfriend wants to talk about quitting.To find an opening, pay attention to the topics he brings up, such as advice from a doctor, a family member who is pregnant, or someone who quit.
Step 3: Look for a way to broach the topic gently.
Smoking laws might be changing in your area.Ask your boyfriend how he feels about these and then ask about his own habits.I read that the city is banning smoking in restaurants.That's great.I don't like eating food that tastes smoky.You are surprised to hear that.Will it be hard for you to go that long without smoking?I've been trying to cut down.You: Really?How can I help?
Step 4: The method of nudging could be tried.
It can be difficult to find the right balance between encouraging your boyfriend to quit and behaving in a way that he may perceive as taking away his choices.The method of nudging can encourage change while still allowing people to decide for themselves.If you tell your boyfriend to open a savings account, he will deposit the money he would otherwise spend on cigarettes.There is a jar on the kitchen counter.Ask if he has smoked at the end of the period.He will get the money if he hasn't.The money needs to be deposited into a charity.The method requires the charity to be for a cause that your boyfriend does not support.If he has a friend who is also trying to quit, they can make it into a competition.Whoever goes longer without smoking gets to keep the money, and whoever gives in first has to donate to a charity of the winner's choice.
Step 5: Mobilizing your support network is important.
Encourage your friends and family to be supportive if it's okay with your boyfriend.Ask your boyfriend if he has considered making an appointment to talk about smoking cessation medication, and remind him that doctors are part of your support network.
Step 6: Think before you check in.
Some smokers want you to ask about their progress every day to hold them accountable, while others don't like this habit.Do regular check-ins help or hurt your boyfriend?
Step 7: Questions can be open-ended.
Why he started smoking, how it makes him feel, why he wants to quit, etc., should be discussed by your boyfriend.It will give you a better idea of his relationship to cigarettes, and it might even help him make some connections he hadn't made before.Why did you start smoking?The older kids at school did.What about now?There are no older children around.He thinks it became a habit.Did you think you would smoke forever?He said quitting always seemed too hard.You are able to do it!Do you want me to help you come up with a plan?
Step 8: Point out the small victories.
Going a day without cigarettes is an accomplishment for a smoker.You can use it as evidence that your boyfriend is capable of going without cigarettes.Confidence can be increased by small victories.
Step 9: It's important to focus on the whole person.
Don't let the quitting process become the entire relationship.If he wants you to check in on his progress, ask him about his day and how he's doing.It should be more than just whether or not he smoked today.
Step 10: Don't make a plan, but be prepared to change it.
Having a tentative quit-by date can be motivating and give your boyfriend something to focus on, but it shouldn't be set in stone.If he wants to set a date, make sure he knows that he has failed if he doesn't quit by this time.
Step 11: The temporary nature of withdrawal symptoms should be emphasized.
Many people experience insomnia, inability to concentrate, anxiety, and depression.They usually go away in a week or two.You can help your boyfriend believe that he can get through them by reminding him that they are temporary.
Step 12: It's a learning curve to quit.
Many people attempt to smoking.Encourage your boyfriend to learn from his experience so that he can avoid smoking in the future.Smoking and quitting are both learned behaviors.
Step 13: Talk about when not if.
It is a good idea to demonstrate to your boyfriend that it is only a matter of time before he tries again.Most people who quit smoking have a try at it again soon.
Step 14: Get some supplies.
One of the reasons people smoke is to relieve boredom.Your boyfriend needs a substitute for this behavior.Hard candy to suck on Straws to chew on Cut up fruits and veggies.
Step 15: Spend time together.
You can use quitting as an excuse to do more things together.If you can, make dinner together, go to the movies, or check out a museum to distract your boyfriend from quitting.
Step 16: Exercise.
One of the things you do together should be physical.There are many aspects of the quitting process that can be alleviated by exercise.
Step 17: Don't take it personally.
People who are trying to quit smoking will have a hard time.The behavior of your boyfriend is not about you.You have the right to call him out on rude behavior and to get away from him if he becomes abusive.
Step 18: Make your home smoke-free.
If you live together, this is important.Both of you are at risk for serious health problems, if your boyfriend exposes you to second-hand smoke.People who don't smoke at home are more likely to quit.Don't keep lighters or ash trays in your home, this will remind your boyfriend of what he's avoiding.
Step 19: Don't go to places where there will be smoking.
By removing potentially triggering settings, this will help your boyfriend avoid the behavior.
Step 20: Know what you can and can't do.
How important is it for your boyfriend to quit smoking?You need to think about how you will proceed if he doesn't want to quit.Do you think his smoking outweighs his other good qualities?Some experts say that having dealbreakers is not good for happiness.A serious moral or ethical shortcoming is the exception.Smoking can prevent a long and healthy life, but it doesn't fall into this category.Smoking may be too much for your relationship to overcome if you lose your boyfriend to health problems.He needs to be aware that smoking is a dealbreaker.It's unfair to give him an ultimatum that he doesn't know about.Tell him you don't want him to be a smoker, but that you want to help him quit.