It can be difficult to tell someone you don't want to have sex.If you feel like you aren't ready yet, or you're simply not in the mood, turning down sex should be easy.You can say no to sex without feeling guilty or pressured.
Step 1: No is not a full sentence and you don't have to explain yourself.
Tell your partner, significant other, or spouse that you don't feel comfortable having sex.You don't have to give an explanation if you want to.Look into your partner's eyes and say "no" clearly and firmly.They will know you won't be swayed when you say it.If your partner asks if you want to go to the bedroom, just say, "not right now."
Step 2: You should tell your partner why you aren't ready to have sex.
If you let them in on your reasoning, they might find it easier to understand.It is possible to tell your partner this at the beginning of a new relationship.I am actually waiting until marriage to have sex.It is important to me and to my faith.I want to be in a committed relationship before we have sex.I would love it if we were at least monogamous.
Step 3: Update your partner on what you like and don't like.
If you are not ready to have sex yet, you might want to kiss, make out, or cuddle.Tell the truth about what you would like to happen.I am not ready to go all the way just yet.I really like you but I am not comfortable with having sex just yet.Could we watch a movie together?
Step 4: It is possible to avoid hurt feelings with your partner.
If you have a bad day, you might not be feeling your best.For reassurance that it is you, not them, tell your partner why you don't want to have sex tonight.Try something like, "Hey, I'm having a bad day and I just don't feel well."Maybe we can have sex tomorrow.I had a bad day at work.
Step 5: You can tell when you are not in a good mood.
They might assume you would like to have sex later if you are out on a date with a long-term partner.You can tell them that you don't want to do anything.Say something like, "I'm having a great time with you tonight."I wanted to let you know that I am probably not going to be in a good mood later on because of my period.
Step 6: When you could have sex in the future is up to you.
If you don't want to stick to this schedule, try to plan ahead for when you might be available.To let your partner know that you are still interested, try to keep it for a while.Say something like, "Hey, how about we have sex tomorrow?"I have the day off, so I will have more energy.
Step 7: You should connect as a couple besides having sex.
Throw something else out there that you two could do if you weren't in the mood.You could play a board game or watch a movie.You could say, "I'm not having a good time tonight."Maybe we could have sex later, if you want to cuddle with me on the couch.I would love to play a game with you.
Step 8: Tell your partner that you feel pressured.
People don't know how pushy they sound when asking for sex.If your partner continues to ask even after you say no, say something like: "It makes me uncomfortable when you don't respect my boundaries."I will let you know when I'm ready.
Step 9: It is time to go if someone continuously pressures you.
Asking for sex repeatedly and trying to convince you is a form of sexual coercion, and it is never okay.If you can, leave the situation and go to a friend's house.If you are young, call a trusted adult to pick you up.
Step 10: They should always respect each other's boundaries.
If your partner won't take no for an answer or makes you feel bad about not having sex, they are not a good person.It might be time to break up with them.If you don't feel safe breaking up with your partner, call a trusted friend or family member.