Making the decision to leave your husband is life-changing and there are several factors to consider, especially if children are involved.In America, about 50% of marriages end in divorce, so it's important that you know you're not alone.It's important to consider your current state as well as your future financial situation before you make a move, as this is not a decision that should be made lightly.As soon as you decide, it's important to know what to do so you can be on your way to financial and emotional strength.
Step 1: It is time to end your marriage.
One of the toughest and most important decisions you will ever make is to end your marriage, so it's important that you're 100% certain that it is over before you start taking the next steps.If you've already made up your mind, here are some reasons that your marriage may be over.It means that you and your husband don't spend time with each other, and you have separate interests.If your husband doesn't want to try.If you've brought up the problems in your marriage multiple times and your husband refuses to change, then it's time to leave.Get out of an abusive relationship.There are no good reasons to stay in an abusive relationship.If your relationship is abusive, then you should get out immediately and figure out the rest once you're safe.If one or both of you have been unfaithful.If cheating and flings are the status quo in your relationship, then it may be beyond saving.If you don't feel like a team anymore.It may be time to leave if you have stopped communicating or compromising.If you can't agree on whether or not to have kids.If you're dying to have kids but your husband doesn't, then there's no point in continuing the relationship.You might be able to make this decision with a cool head.If you have time to think it over, you should not leave your husband in the heat of the moment.If you've tried everything, nothing has worked.If you've tried couples therapy, had long conversations with your husband, and if both of you have tried to change your ways, then it may be time to leave.If you've been dissatisfied for a while and your husband doesn't know it, it may be worth trying to talk things out first.
Step 2: Have an honest conversation about it.
If you follow the steps below, you can leave your husband in the dark after you walk out that door.If you don't know how your husband will react or if he will try to stop you from leaving, this can be helpful.If he's very supportive and you're always honest with each other, then you may just want to talk to him first and see if you can work things out.You may be surprised by how much your husband cares about you, or by the lengths he's willing to go to not lose you.This does not mean that you should allow your husband to convince you to stay.If you're not sure if you can really make things work, talking to him can make a big difference.
Step 3: You should keep your decision to yourself.
This step can be important in many ways.Staying quiet will allow you the time to prepare and establish yourself before you leave a marriage.Tell a few people who are close to you.Tell the people who can help you that not everyone can.If you don't want to talk about it with your husband, then it's better to keep it to yourself so you have time to figure it out.If your husband knows about your plans and doesn't want you to leave, then he can try to stop you from getting things done.The goal should be to leave on the best financial footing.You don't want your husband to get in the way.It could take between two and six months to plan an exit strategy that will help you keep your finances in order.If you take some time to get organized before you leave, it may be better for you in the long run.
Step 4: You can set up a separate account.
It's difficult for stay-at- home mothers who don't have outside income, but having some money saved up will help you move forward on a better financial footing.Even if you don't have a lot of money, starting a separate account can help you get on the right path.You can have your own finances sorted out once you leave your husband.It's a last resort to take money from a joint account.
Step 5: You can find a place to live.
It's important to find a new place to live if you're leaving the marriage.In some cases, temporarily staying with other people can be helpful, but in the long term, you will need to find housing.If you don't have children, it may be easy for you to move across the country to be closer to your family.Maybe you want to live in a new place and try something new.Whatever you want to do, having a plan and a temporary place to stay can help you get there.If you and your husband are comfortable enough with each other to talk about the divorce, then you can discuss who is going to move out of the home you share together.This is an even more important question if there are children involved.If you're moving across the country, try to save money as soon as possible.You will probably find yourself on a tighter budget after you leave.
Step 6: You need to get your paperwork together.
Throughout a marriage, you will accumulate many important documents such as paperwork pertaining to your mortgage, vehicle and retirement plans.If the property in question is an issue in the divorce, you should have a copy of these documents.If you see a lot of documents that are important to you, you should make a copy of them.It's better to be safe than sorry when it comes to getting your paperwork together.If you really want to make a thorough copy of everything, then you should hire a professional to do it.If some money goes missing during your settlement, this can help you in the future.
Step 7: If you have any, make a plan for your children.
It is important to figure out what is best for your children if you have them with your husband.Do you think your husband is a good father who will be involved in his children's lives, or do you believe your children should not have anything to do with him?One of the biggest decisions you will make is this.If you don't want to see your husband anymore, then your children should not see him.There should be a reason to keep him away from his kids.It will determine many things, such as, potentially, the place where you live, as well as your children's futures, so you should make this decision with an even head.
Step 8: A divorce lawyer can be contacted.
If you think the divorce will take a long time, you may want to shop around for a better price.The right lawyer can help you make the process easier and less painful, even if you want to save money.If you don't know how to fix a financial mess you will end up spending money on a lawyer.You can hire a paralegal if you don't have the budget for it.
Step 9: You should start planning your budget after divorce.
It's important to consider the budget after you leave your husband, if you're doing incredibly well financially already.Before you walk out the door, it's important to ask yourself some questions so you don't get stumped.Many women have to deal with a 1/3rd drop in their standard of living after a divorce, but don't let this discourage you!You'll work through it if you make a solid plan.What new expenses will you take on?Where are you going to cut back?If you have children, how much more will child care cost?How will you make ends meet?
Step 10: Don't depend on alimony.
In today's economy, alimony or child support may not be a part of your future income.If you're certain that your husband will pay, that's a good thing, but you have to ask yourself if you can really rely on him.You will be the one paying alimony if you are the main breadwinner.
Step 11: Establish your own credit record.
If you don't have a credit record apart from your spouse, then it's important to get one as soon as possible.You can get a free copy of your credit report from each of the three bureaus at AnnualCreditReport.com.Look for errors when you check it out.Begin to build your own credit by making wise purchases, paying on time, and being thoughtful with your money.If you haven't been involved in the financial aspect of your life, your credit record may not be as strong as you think.
Step 12: Make plans to make more money.
You have to think about whether or not you need to raise your income to cover the budget after you have a better idea of it.If you have a well-paying job and plenty of savings, then great, but if you need a higher paying job or have spent time out of the work force, you'll need to make moves in that direction.You don't have to become CEO of a new company before you leave your husband, but you can make some changes to increase your income once you do.Whether you need to brush up on your computer skills or get certified in a specialized form of training, there are some things you can do.When the time is right, buy a new suit.You need to get your resume in order.When you leave your husband, you don't have to send it out, but you should have it on hand.You might not have the time or mental strength to update your resume after you leave.
Step 13: Take your belongings with you.
You can either start with the less obvious items or do it all in one day.You have to figure out what the safest approach is for your situation.If you think your husband is going to get violent or threatening if he sees you packing up your things, make a plan to do this when there's little chance he will be around.It's a good idea to have some friends or family members there to help you out.It's important to pack when your husband is at work.It can be more painful to pack when he's around.
Step 14: Let's leave.
You may have already told your spouse that you are leaving.If you know you made the right decision, this last step may be the most difficult.Every situation is different.It may not come as a shock if you and your spouse have been talking about this for months.Leaving suddenly is the best option if you're in an abusive situation.Whether it's a frank and honest conversation or leaving without a note, it is up to you to decide.
Step 15: You should get as much emotional support as you can.
Don't be alone with your worries.You should rely on your family, friends, and even a therapist after you leave your husband.If you have the support and love of the people who care about you the most, this is likely the hardest thing you'll ever have to do.Asking for help is normal.It's equally important to be out and about, to make plans with your friends, and to have a good time.Call up your old friends and ask for help or just chat.They will support you through this difficult time and understand that you're going through a lot.Not everyone will be on board with your plan and you may lose some friends in the process.Don't let this stop you from being firm in your decision, and know that it can lead to new and rewarding friends.
Step 16: Get up on your feet.
This may take some time.It can take years for you to feel independent and in control of your life after you recover emotionally and financially.The decision you made will lead to more happiness in the long run if you know you are on the path to recovery.You can praise yourself for having the strength to leave your husband when you get back on your feet.Even though women tend to lose money after a divorce, they don't stop exploring new things, doing amazing things that they were not able to do during their marriage, or advance in their careers.You should be able to get back on your feet and become a better person in the process.