There are secrets at different points in people's lives.For example, if a girl hides information about a birthday party, it may not be a bad thing.There are times when the secrets are more serious.There are many ways to tell if a girl is hiding something.
Step 1: When something seems off about her, be aware.
If this is someone that you spend a lot of time with, you will be able to see that something isn't quite right.Try to remember to keep making observations when she seems different than she usually does.
Step 2: When her behavior changes, keep an eye on it.
When she changes her behavior, start paying attention.You can find patterns that will give you an idea of what's going on.When a topic is brought up, does her demeanor change?Does the change happen when a person is around?Does she feel uncomfortable in a specific location?She doesn't want to discuss an upcoming event.
Step 3: Observe her changed behavior.
If you know her well, you should be able to spot the differences in her behavior.Keep an eye on her for any telltale signs of lying or secrecy as you narrow down the cause of her sudden secrecy.She Crosses her arms across her chest or protects other vulnerable areas, like her throat, as if trying to physically distance herself.
Step 4: She seems to be hiding a lot.
Think about what she might be hiding and how serious it is as you observe her behavior.If you're in a relationship with her, she might be hiding that she's cheating or she picked up a bad habit, like smoking.She may be hiding something that was said about you behind your back.There is a chance that she is hiding something positive.The benefit of the doubt is important to her.
Step 5: If you want to confront her, write down your suspicions.
Creating a list of your suspicions will help you to look and feel prepared as you confront her.You can refer to behaviors, words, or actions made you come to these conclusions.She has said things, acted in ways, and displayed odd behaviors.Observe what topics or people seem to cause her to change her demeanor.
Step 6: Ask your friend's opinion on your suspicions.
Ask your friend if he/she has noticed the same strange behavior if you choose someone who knows both of you.If there is something you are missing that explains the behavior or your observations are accurate, this friend can help you.
Step 7: There is a time to talk to her.
Depending on your relationship, you can either meet her for lunch or talk to her at home.If you are making plans in advance, don't let on that you want to talk to her about her behavior.This will cause her to decline your invitation and make it harder for you to find out what's going on.
Step 8: Bring up the topic calmly and rationally.
If you bring up the topic, do your best to diffuse the situation by being calm.This doesn't mean that you should be vague about what you're getting at.She needs to understand the conversation if you are clear about her secret.I think you're keeping something from me.I want to talk about my relationship with you, because it's important to me.It seems like you might be keeping a secret, but I don't want to offend you.Can we talk about it? I have noticed that you have been very nervous most of the time I've been around you.Is something going on that you would like to discuss?
Step 9: Explain your thoughts and observations in a way that shows her how concerned you are.
You are having this conversation with her because you are concerned about what is going on, and you want to resolve it, so help her understand that by your words and gestures.You become distant and closed-off when Bryan is around.I'm wondering what brought on this change in you towards him.When we talk about our plans with other people, you have become a little secretive.I'm concerned, and I want to know if there's something that you need to tell me.If you want to talk about what happened, I'm here for you. You told me the other night that you stayed in and read a book until you fell asleep, but he said that the two of you went out dancing.You lied to me and I'm wondering why you did it.
Step 10: Listen closely to her response.
Give her the chance to respond without interruption.If she continues to appear secretive, let her know that you are observing certain behaviors that indicate she might be lying, such as an inability to maintain eye contact, making frequent pauses in her response, or giving too many details.Ask her to tell you the truth.If she continues to keep her mouth shut, then you need to think about the value of this friendship or relationship.If she won't tell you the truth, what will it say about your relationship with her?I get the sense that you're not being completely honest, even though you agreed to talk about it with me.Can you give me the whole truth?It seems like you have more to say but haven't yet.Go ahead and share.
Step 11: Give yourself time to process what she has to say.
If she tells you what she has been hiding, give yourself time to process it.Consider the validity of her reasons for hiding it.Is her secrecy understandable, or should she have been honest from the beginning?Evaluate the relationship, whether it was right of her to hide information from you, and what can be done to repair any hurt that was caused.