If your daughter is going through a divorce, it is difficult for you to see someone you love suffering and doubting their choices about their relationship, as well as potentially losing their faith in their self-esteem and ability to cope.Being there for your daughter is important.The article is suitable for a mother, father, or both parents who want to help their daughter survive this challenging time.
Step 1: Let her know that you're with her.
If she needs respite or an ear to talk to, she has a place to go no matter what time of day or night.The phone connection is even more important when you live far away from her.
Step 2: Consider the ways in which you can help her.
Think about the things that could help her.She needs personal space and time to sort through her feelings.The kids are upset by all the changes.Is it possible to take the kids in for a bit, or at least care for them during periods of time to give your daughter a break?She might need a place to stay, and you can give her that respite.Does she need a loan of money or a car to get out of a difficult situation?Is it possible to offer such a loan?The practical helps make a huge difference.
Step 3: Listen active.
She will be upset, angry, sad, depressed, and many other emotions at times.She can rely on a compassionate ear and supportive love from you all the time.Even if you don't have the ability to physically help her, you can still be there for her.
Step 4: Don't say "I told you so's".
We love whom we love when do for reasons that are much broader than common sense, and that's why we do.We learn from our mistakes.For most of the time, your daughter will be experiencing a range of self-talk that is very negative, such as being angry with herself, being sad at the loss, feeling stupid, and so on.With loving support, none of these are good feelings.She doesn't need confirmation of poor choices with "I told you so's".
Step 5: Suggest other sources of support that don't deplete your own worth.
Being her parent, you are an important person in her life.She will need sounding boards beyond you to help her form fully rounded conclusions about her future movements and needs.If you think a counselor or psychologist is a good option for her, suggest it.Just to help her get started, offer to make arrangements and even pay for it.Consider other helpful services, such as financial consultants, lawyers, career consultant, priest, real estate agents, etc.If she seems to lack confidence or becomes disorganized as a result of the stress, offer to help with any arrangements and interaction.
Step 6: There are local support groups for people who are going through a divorce.
Don't force the issue, but do recommend any you believe might help, and give her the contact details.Allow her to make her own decisions.Don't use this as an alternative to your help; rather, such groups become a support act.
Step 7: She should be fed well.
She might be neglecting to eat and drink.During the first weeks of her divorce, check on her eating and help out by making meals or arranging them to be delivered.If she is depressed and finds it difficult to take care of her children in her usual way, this is even more important.
Step 8: Be positive.
Keep telling her that things will be better and that she has many wonderful opportunities ahead of her, even though she is going through a terrible time.She should be reminded of her beautiful children, her incredible skills, and her loving heart.Simply because this relationship hasn't worked out does not mean that her future relationships will end the same; remind her that she has learned lessons that will guide her well in the future.Always, be gentle.