How To Help Your Child when the Other Parent Is a Narcissist
There is a group of people who are affected by their behavior: their children.A child can't choose their parents, even if you have a choice.It is important to be aware of the impact a personality trait has on offspring.Help and protect your children by parenting with their best interests in mind and emphasizing positive emotional development.
Step 1: Limit your contact with the other person.
You can minimize your communication with your child's parent if you and the narcissist have split up.People who are high-conflict are often referred to as "narcissists".Limit interactions between you and the other parent to prevent your child from being exposed to a battle.When absolutely necessary, speak to the narcissist and keep the subject of your communications strictly related to parenting.
Step 2: Don't say bad things to the children of the other parent.
It is not your place to tell your child about the negative aspects of their parent.If you can, speak highly of the other parent to your child.Direct communication to family, friends, and the larger community is not the same as this.If you talk negatively about the other parent to loved ones or acquaintances, they might inadvertently spread the message back to your child.Discuss the problems of your relationship with your friends and family away from your child.
Step 3: When you can, give a consistent structure.
Children can be used for the purpose of boosting their own egos, which can lead to people-pleasing habits in children.Strong boundaries and consistent structure can be put in place when your child is in your care.Discipline or reward the behavior you expect in your home.Follow through if you say you'll do something.Help them learn a sense of responsibility for their actions.If they are taught to share, take turns, and cope with unexpected change, they will understand the world is not theirs.This is important if your child is spending a lot of time with a parent.Positive rules and values should be reinforced so that they become law-abiding citizens.
Step 4: You can model healthy communication.
Children of narcissists are subjected to guilt-tripping, bribery, and emotional manipulation of the highest degree.If you can, serve as a positive role model for communication.Allow them to finish talking before sharing a response.You should make eye contact.Talk to your child at an appropriate age.Speak in terms of feelings like, "I feel disappointed because you didn't turn in your school project", instead of labels like "bad" or "disrespectful".Explain your views and actions in a rational way.Don't hide behind an agenda or manipulate your child, be clear and direct with them.Answer your child's questions honestly.
Step 5: Don't shield your child from the bad guy.
The narcissist uses emotional abuse as a weapon.Unless you are vying for full custody with no parental visits, it may be impossible to fully protect your child from their parent's emotional games.It might not be a good idea to try to protect your child.It shields them from learning how to interact with the other person.Try to counteract any damage with structure, boundaries, and love instead of trying to protect your child from their emotions.You want to make sure that your child is not in danger while under the supervision of the narcissist.There are signs of child abuse or neglect such as unexplained injuries, wearing inappropriate clothing, flinching after sudden movements, and poor hygiene.
Step 6: Encourage individuality.
People-pleasing habits are developed by children of narcissists because they are idolized when they act according to the narcissist's wishes.Helping your child acknowledge their strengths and talents is a way to counteract the effects of the narcissistic parent.Children follow their peers' mannerisms.It's a good idea to find out their likes and dislikes.Allowing your child to choose hobbies and clothes that suit their interests will allow them to explore their own ways of acting or thinking.Let them know that they can be different.
Step 7: Positive self-esteem can be fostered by showing consistent love.
Children are subject to rigid standards that determine whether they receive appreciation or affection from their parents.The narcissist may not provide the ingredients needed to build a healthy self-esteem in their children.Positive praise and affection should not be dependent on your child's behavior or accomplishments.It is a good idea to remind your child of their good qualities.They should be praised when they do something good.The negative influence they may be getting from their parent can be counteracted.Tailor language so that children don't think they're better than others.Say, "You're special to me, not the most special girl in the world."
Step 8: There are opportunities to build self-esteem.
When your child learns new things, they expand their skills.Poor self-esteem can be developed from a parent telling them they aren't worthy unless they do something.It's a good idea to sign your child up for a club.They should be encouraged to try a new sport.Together, you can learn a new language or skill.
Step 9: Help them see mistakes as learning opportunities.
They attach their sense of self to being admired, accomplished, and acquainted with powerful people.Your child may be able to develop a perfect view of themselves and the world.Chances to improve and grow are offered by mistakes and failure.Challenge your child to fail bigger.They should be given a game to try activities that are hard for them.They should tell you how they failed.They should be grateful for their failure as a chance to grow.Oprah was fired from her first job as a TV anchor because she failed at success.Don't exaggerate their successes, but applaud them.Children are less likely to leave their comfort zones in the future if they focus too much on success.
Step 10: The child should be surrounded by healthy adult friends.
Your child may feel like they don't have an emotional connection with their parent.It's possible to be a positive role model yourself.It is possible to expose your child to other positive adults who can offer support, encouragement, and a listening ear.Reach out to adults in your community, such as teachers, religious or spiritual advisors, coaches, school counselors, relatives or family friends, to forge relationships with your child.I want to make sure you know that someone is there for you.If you don't feel comfortable coming to me with an issue, I hope you know your aunt is willing to listen.
Step 11: Your child should be helped in developing empathy.
A lack of empathy is a trait of the narcissist.Children and teens are naturally self-centered.You will want to increase their ability to relate to others in order to prevent them from developing into pathological narcissism.Encourage your child to consider other's emotions no matter how old they are.Being able to step in someone else's shoes is what empathy is all about.Ask your child how they think the character feels while watching TV or reading a book.Ask your child to name some feelings they might experience if they tell you about a friend who was bullied.There were sadness, embarrassment, and rejection.)
Step 12: The importance of genuine friendship is emphasized.
A parent with a high opinion of others rarely has true friends.It is possible that friends and acquaintances are just a means to an end.Your child may exploit their peers if they pick up on this pattern.Encourage your child to befriend other people from different walks of life.This helps them to see that they are worthy even if they don't know each other.It is important to emphasize the significance of keeping confidences, demonstrating loyalty, sharing, and resolving conflict.
Step 13: There are incidents of manipulation or exploitation.
At times, children test the limits.It is possible to set the bar for building positive relationships and empathy by not overlooking negative behaviors.If your child is manipulating a friend by saying, "If you don't let me play with your doll, I will not be your friend anymore," pull them aside and suggest that they step into the other person's shoes.How would they feel if the friend did this to them?Is holding friendship over their heads right?Is there another way to play with a doll?Encouraging kindness counteracts manipulation.Ask your child what they did for other people.In order for your child to be recognized for doing good, they need to do anonymous acts of kindness.You can encourage your child to volunteer.
Step 14: You should consult with a counselor.
Children of narcissists are at risk of developing this personality trait.If your child uses or exploits others, lacks empathy, or is a bully, you should seek professional help.The root causes of narcissism can be addressed with the help of a mental health therapist.You can get a referral from your doctor, school counselor, or family doctor.