How To Handle Unsupportive Friends when You Have a Chronic Illness
Living with a chronic illness can be isolating.Finding social support is one of the best ways to cope with being ill, but some friends just have a way of disappearing or being helpful after you find out about your illness.Although unsupportive friends can bring you down, you can learn to cope by helping your real friends understand how they can be there for you.You can build a solid support network by reaching out to the people you already know, meeting new friends, and taking good care of your physical and mental health along the way.
Step 1: Inform your family about your illness.
If your friends and family understand what you are going through, they will support you more.Share high-quality websites, books, or other sources of information about your illness with people in your life.Talk to loved ones individually, in small groups, and on social media.Before moving on to less formal forms of communication, you should speak with your friends and family in person.You can do a basic search on the internet for your condition.Explain what symptoms you experience, what treatments you are undergoing, and the progess of your condition.Encourage questions."Terry, we've been friends for a long time, and I don't want things to be awkward because of my diagnosis," you might say.Is there anything you want to ask me about the disease?
Step 2: Friends are invited to doctor's appointments.
Getting more information about your condition can help you and your friends.Suggest that they accompany you to doctor's visits and specialist appointments to learn more about your illness and how they can help.Your loved ones may be able to help you by catching information that you might miss.In addition to speaking with medical professionals, you and your friends can participate in support groups for people with your condition.It is possible to get advice about how others can support you if you speak with others who have an illness.
Step 3: Tell your friends what you need.
Your friends may not know how to support you.Ask if someone would give you a hand.Your friends will feel better about knowing what to do for you if you get the help you need.Consider asking a friend to pick up groceries for you, help you with chores around the house, take your kids to the park, or just sit and talk with you.Make a list of the things you can't do.Give someone a task if they ask what they can do to help.
Step 4: When friends disappear, take the initiative.
When friends aren't calling you back or never coming around, you have to manage your friendship and not feel sorry for yourself.They don't know how to help or what to say to you.Break the ice by reaching out.You can make a joke out of a friend not showing up.Rebecca, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, not cooties.It's not infectious.I would love to see your face more often.
Step 5: Understand that your friends don't have a lot of support.
If your friends go MIA, you might feel hurt or angry, but their behavior says more about them than it does about you.If your friends don't know what to say to you, they might find it hard to see you suffer.Seeing a friend with a chronic illness makes it hard for many people to believe that anyone can get sick.People may leave your life because they don't want to think about mortality.Some of your friends don't know how to act anymore so they feel awkward around you.They might start avoiding you if they are afraid of saying something wrong.Some people wrongly assume that you want space while you are coming to terms with your diagnosis.You might have been less present due to illness or pain.
Step 6: Stand up for what you think is right.
Don't hesitate to tell your friend how they hurt you if they say something that hurts you.Your friends will be less likely to say similar things in the future if you put a stop to tactless jokes right away.Next time, your friend will apologize and speak more carefully if they care about you.Don't be afraid to be direct.Say something like, "That hurts to me."I don't want you to joke about that.They might be making a poor attempt at humor because they don't know what to say.
Step 7: Your expectations should be revised.
Don't let the fact that not everyone is capable of giving you the same level of support keep you from asking.Understand if they can't make something work.You should not assume they don't have time for you.If a friend can't be there for you all the time but still makes an effort to keep in touch and help you out occasionally, let them know that you appreciate them.You could say, "I know we used to spend more time together, but I'm not physically able to go out as much."You have been flexible enough to still hang out with me.
Step 8: You should reach out to new people.
If you have unsupportive friends, you might not have to look further than people you already know.Try to have a conversation with someone you know.If you enjoy their company, invite them to do something with you.You can meet people with similar struggles and get involved in a cause related to your illness.
Step 9: You can join a support group.
Talking to other people with chronic illnesses is a great way to form new friends.You can find a virtual support group on the internet.If your doctor knows of support groups in your area, you should ask.There are many self-help groups, as well as activity- and hobby-related groups.Ask the local clinics for recommendations if you want to join an official therapy group.Some healing-oriented groups can be found in spiritual communities.
Step 10: Use the internet.
The internet can help you stay connected if it's difficult for you to spend a lot of time outside the house.There are a number of ways to help people with chronic illnesses.You can get support from other people who are going through the same thing.
Step 11: Don't be afraid to invite old friends back into your life.
People come and go, and sometimes old friends come back after a while.Keep your circle of friends strong by connecting with people from the past.If you see a high school friend who is dealing with diabetes on Facebook, you might reach out to them.Say something like, "I was moved by your post the other day."I have diabetes as well.Someone needs to talk to me about my condition.Are you willing to do it?
Step 12: You can see a therapist.
When you feel down about your illness, a therapist can help.They can help you cope with your illness and maintain a support network.You can run an online search for therapists in your area if you ask your doctor.
Step 13: Know when to leave unsupportive friends.
If a friend abandons you multiple times, you may be better off without them.Keeping a thoughtless or toxic person around will do more damage than dropping a friend.If you decide to cut ties with a friend, talk to them first to find out how their behavior is hurting you.You might say, "Lisa, things are different now that I have multiplesclerosis."I have not been feeling supported by you.
Step 14: Take care of your health.
Maintaining a positive outlook on life will be helped by taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional health.Get enough sleep, eat a balanced diet, do some gentle exercise, and practice meditation.It is possible to improve symptoms of your chronic illness by eating a healthy diet, exercising, sleeping, and practicing self-care.Do not use alcohol to cope with alcohol use.Depression is a common problem for people with chronic illness because of the effects alcohol has on the central nervous system.Share your health goals on social media to get feedback from your friends.
Step 15: You can indulge in a hobby.
Staying busy and positive can be aided by getting lost in an activity.Pick up a new hobby that you have always wanted to try, or rediscover an old one.Knitting, drawing, painting, and reading are a few options that are easy to start and won't tire you out too much.Use rubber grips to make your knitting needles or pencils easier to hold if you have hand pain.
Step 16: You need to work on your self-esteem.
If you add unsupportive friends to the mix, chronic illness can bring you down, so look for ways to rebuild yourself.Set challenges for yourself, remind yourself of your positive qualities, and focus on what you can do instead of what can't.It's common to dwell on the negatives when you're sick.You should make a list of your positive attributes.You can include things like being a good listener, having compassion for others, and being creative.