How To Get Support when You Have a Terminal Illness
When you find out that you have a terminal illness, it can be a confusing and isolating experience.Knowing that your days are numbered can make you feel alone, but it's important to know that help is available.Seek help from loved ones, your medical team, and professionals trained in end-of-life care.You can focus on living if you get the support you need.
Step 1: Someone is going to your medical appointments.
The shock of being given a terminal diagnosis can make it difficult to focus on the future.You can rely on someone else to give a second set of ears to gather the information and advice you need.If your terminal diagnosis comes without warning and you are alone at the appointment, ask if you can return with your support person.Important information about your condition should be put in writing for your reference.Take the time to ask the doctor questions.
Step 2: You can talk to someone about anything.
There isn't a right way to die, it's an individual art.Some people want to talk to everyone while others don't.People with terminal illnesses are best served by having people they trust to listen to them.If you're comfortable talking openly with a loved one, do so.If that person is dealing with stress or depression due to your condition, it may be difficult to speak candidly.If you are more comfortable talking about your fears with a stranger, you should seek a professional counselor.Someone who is content to focus on what you need to say is the ideal person to be your sounding board.
Step 3: You can connect with other people with the same diagnosis.
As is the case with people with rare illnesses, the internet can be an extremely valuable resource for someone experiencing a sense of isolation due to a terminal diagnosis.Only other people who are facing the end of their lives can understand how you are feeling.There are support communities for people with terminal illness.Start with established organizations that specialize in end-of-life networking, such as the Marie Curie Society in the UK.The right to control all aspects of your end-of-life period is something you have.Whether it involves physical group meetings or virtual chat rooms and social media connections, use such networking to help you cope in the way that is right for you.
Step 4: Hospice care is something you should look into.
Hospice has become a standard component of end-of-life medical care.Its cost is usually covered by insurance or government programs in the U.S.Talk to your medical team and people with experience with Hospice for advice and information.You can shop around to find the right Hospice for you.Conduct interviews and do some research.Check out How to Choose a Hospice Care Program for a variety of useful information about hospice care and how to find the right provider for your needs.
Step 5: When you want to and when you don't, keep that in mind.
Some people with a terminal illness prefer to spread their word far and wide.Others prefer to keep the news private.Determine who you want to be in the loop about your diagnosis, and clearly state if, how and to whom you would like the news shared further.You might owe the truth about your condition to your closest family members, like a spouse or children, but not necessarily.If you don't tell them, other people might be upset.This is the time when you can focus on your needs and preferences.When it comes to how you choose to say goodbye, make the choices that are right for you.
Step 6: Do things you enjoy.
When your life is coming to an end, it is important to take care of yourself physically so that you can: A) fight your illness and hold onto as long as possible; or B) be more free to enjoy your remaining days by doing what you want.It isn't a bad idea to indulge yourself, though.People that bring you comfort, pleasure, peace, and joy are prioritized.If massages help you relax, use them.A "wish list" is a list of things you want to do in your remaining time.Ask your friends and family to help you achieve as many of them as possible.Depending on your condition and age, you may be able to find an organization that will help to make your final dreams come true.
Step 7: Make sure that your dignity is maintained by declaring your final wishes.
People should not be left guessing about how you want to live out the remainder of your days or the period surrounding your actual death.Remember that you are the one in charge of your life, and always ask for support and guidance in determining the course that is right for you.Sometimes people will ignore your wishes because they are trying to help.If you want your preferences to be accepted, show appreciation for their concern and support.People providing care for you may lose sight of your desire for privacy and conduct care in front of other people.Speak up if this is bothering you.You have the right to protect your dignity as you grow older.
Step 8: If your depression is limiting you, address it.
Everyone who is facing a terminal diagnosis will experience some degree of depression.If your depression is holding you back from making the most of your remaining time, you should not leave it untreated.If you feel like there is a dark cloud hovering over you at all times and it prevents you from living out the rest of your life as you wish, talk to your doctor about possible depression treatment options.Therapy and/or medication may be included.
Step 9: You have rights and benefits.
Depending on where you live, some combination of government benefits and insurance coverage may be available to help you deal with the expenses and practical matters associated with an end-of-life situationDo your homework, or have a trusted friend or loved one do it for you, so that you can be sure to receive all the support you are entitled to.Guidance can be provided by your medical team, counselors, and caregivers.Hospice care and other end-of-life concerns are supported by the governments of the United States, United Kingdom, and Australian.
Step 10: Put your affairs in order, ask for help.
When given a terminal diagnosis, some people immediately begin trying to settle their finances and related matters, while others can't bring themselves to contemplate such things.Accept good help when it is offered and ask for help in putting your affairs in order when needed.This is a part of the dying process that should be dictated by your preferences.If you don't act, you'll create a burden of paperwork for your loved ones, and if you get every little thing taken care of you miss out on enjoying your last days.It's a good idea to prioritize which matters need to be addressed now or later.Look for the assistance of a trusted attorney or financial advisor.
Step 11: Ask for help with specific requests.
Many people will offer to help if you have a terminal illness, but they have no idea how they can help.It's important to be specific about what you need in order to maximize the benefits.Making small, practical requests of assistance to people can make them feel helpful in a time of need, and can also make your life that little bit easier.Let the people you trust know if you need someone to get groceries, clean up around your house, or watch your kids.Don't feel obligated to accept a specific offer of assistance if you're not interested or in need of it.Don't ask if the person can help in a specific way.