If the parties don't agree on one or more important points in the divorce, it's not a different process than an uncontested divorce.If you and your spouse can come to an agreement instead of a judge imposing one on you, you will probably both be happier.There is a difference between contesting the divorce and not.Uncontested divorces make it faster because the parties don't voice their disagreements.In the midst of a divorce, a spouse should focus on ways to minimize the conflict and how to find good counsel to guide them through it, making it as painless as possible.
Step 1: How long have they practiced divorce and family law?
The law degree issued in a particular year doesn't mean they have the same amount of relevant experience.Lawyers can change specialties.It's always a good idea to double check.If you or your spouse are filing for a fault based divorce, you want to know how many cases they take to trial.
Step 2: To get an outline of the process, ask them.
To get a sense of their personal case management style, you want to ask this question.Find out how you can reach them when you need to, and how often you will hear from them.This is a good time to inquire about the role of mediation in your divorce process, and if this attorney feels comfortable using mediators if preliminary negotiations should break down.If mediation fails, it can amount to a very expensive waste of time.
Step 3: You need to know who will be handling your case.
At larger firms, the person who interviews the client isn't always the one who will be handling the case.Before you start, make sure you are comfortable with their answer.It's a good idea to ask the experts if they anticipate the need for an expert witness during the course of your case.
Step 4: Ask about fees.
When you and the attorney are done with the case, ask about the fees.It is not possible to use the cost of a previous divorce or a friends divorce as a guide.If a retainer is required, be sure to ask.A retainer is the amount of money that your lawyer obligates to you.The lawyer-client relationship was established.How often do you pay your attorney?Some attorneys bill monthly, some only at the end of the case, and others work out long term payment plans.Your case will either be billed by the hour or on a flat fee structure.
Step 5: There are different kinds of divorce that fit your situation.
There are two different types of divorce, fault and no-fault.No fault divorce is now offered in all 50 states.If a divorce assigns fault to one party, you will need an attorney, even if you are not the one who is divorcing.There are things that can cause a fault-based divorce.When fault is assigned in a divorce, the party not at fault usually has a right to more of the assets.They will contest the divorce if you assign blame to your spouse and give up a bigger share.A lawyer can investigate the circumstances that apply to you.Divorces that assign fault to one party are less contentious than fault divorces.One party isn't automatically entitled to more of the assets in a divorce when fault is unassigned.
Step 6: Information about residency should be gathered.
Regardless of which type of divorce you pursue, you will need to gather certain information.There is a great guide to the entire divorce process at file a no fault divorce.The right of the court to enforce its judgements on you is common to all divorces, so you can go ahead and get any documents together that prove your residency.Doing so will speed up the process, save your attorney time, and save you money.You need your spouse's address.Your address.The county in which you and your spouse live.Use your county of residence if your spouse lives out of state.To determine the best course of action, contact your attorney if you don't have all the information.Some of it can be found using government databases, such as your local office of recorder and deed.You will need to establish residency in order to file.You need to have lived there for at least six months.You can file in your spouse's place of residence if you haven't already.
Step 7: Together, you can get your financial information.
It is best to collect any information that may prove your and your spouse's financial condition in the event of a divorce.The information could include tax documents.Bank statements.There are statements from firms.There are documents for real property.There are car titles and registration.
Step 8: Preliminary evidence should be gathered.
If you must file for a fault-based divorce, you should gather all the evidence you can to support your claim.The basic outlines of fault in each state are the same.It is always helpful to have as much evidence as you can at the beginning of the process.It will save time and money if you sit down with a lawyer.The evidence should be relevant to the fault you pursue.If you make a claim of adultery, you should gather emails, pictures, texts, and witnesses.
Step 9: You should keep your distance.
During the divorce, you should try to keep face to face communication to a minimum.Good will come of it.The more often you communicate with each other, the more likely it is that your relationship becomes hostile.
Step 10: Think before you speak.
Don't respond to anything your spouse has to say during the divorce.It will take a little self-control to make this happen if you are not communicating face to face.It's a good rule of thumb to wait 24 hours before responding to an overture.segregating your communication with your spouse will make this easier.You should set up a dedicated email account for only communicating with your spouse.Purchase a pre-paid cell phone and speak with them on it.It is against the law to text, email, or call while under the influence of a drug.The same applies to letter writing.
Step 11: Pretend you like your spouse.
When you are in the company of your children and communicating with your ex, this applies as well.Say what you want when you're alone or with your friends.Pretend that you like the person you're divorcing when you are around your children.Children don't need to hear secrets, and it will get back to your spouse if you keep it a secret.They will make their own conclusions about their parent.
Step 12: Don't use your children as pawns.
It exposes your children to issues they are not equipped to deal with, and it is unfair to you.It's a matter between you and your spouse.If your spouse is late on child support, don't stop visiting.If you and your ex were still married, wouldn't you lock your kids in their room and not let them see their parent?It's probably not.Your children didn't want to be born.They did not ask to have a parent who couldn't pay child support.They need their parents no matter what.
Step 13: You should temper your expectations.
In divorces, there are rarely winners.Because one household is becoming two households, each party loses something.The goal is for each party to be treated fairly.When communicating with your spouse, keep in mind that a lot of ill-will is related to the shock of loss.
Step 14: You need to be aware of the rules.
Make sure you understand what the basic rules of divorce are in your state before you make a decision.You need to know if you live in a community property state or equitable division state.The property in community property states is divided into two equal parts.The property of a married couple is divided according to what is fair.Your attorney can tell you which applies to you.What does "marital property" mean?Marital property can be anything that is acquired during the marriage.This is generally true, but there are exceptions.The amount of child support is determined.The trend in many states is to award child support based on a formula and not on the judge's discretion.There is no point in disagreeing with your state about child support.Child custody is decided.In some states, the presumption is that custody will be divided evenly.One side must show why, or both sides must agree.
Step 15: Decide what is important.
If you can't come to an agreement on the terms of the divorce, you might be able to work it out the right way.Child custody, child and spousal support, alimony, and division of assets and liabilities are some of the items which will have to be negotiated.There are items that are the most important to you and your spouse.Most people will have child custody, support and ownership of the primary residence.The items are important to one party but not the other.The possession of a personal collection, a car, or a second home could be included.There are items that are unimportant to you.
Step 16: Get out of the way.
Let it be known that you and your spouse have a disagreement.You can always move on to other issues.You can still make progress with the outline of your agreement even though you disagree on an issue.Disagreement makes people hostile and suspicious.You will not be able to agree on anything if you linger on an issue that you both disagree on.Relations between you and your spouse are likely to be hostile if you are getting a divorce.
Step 17: There are interests underlying your positions.
Try and identify the interests that motivate you and your spouse to take certain positions, instead of focusing on the different positions.Equal time with the children may be part of the interest at the heart of a specific custody arrangement.One party's position may not indicate that.An alternative arrangement that provides for equal time may work if one parent insists on an every-other-weekend custody arrangement.You will have to put yourself in your spouse's shoes to make this work.Imagine if your spouse is older than you and nearing retirement.They might insist on your retirement accounts being yours.You might be right on the merits, but you may be able to get higher value in debts or more volatile assets in return.