How To Develop a Better Relationship With Your Parents
There are many problems between parents and children.You are not alone if you want to improve your relationship with your parents.Assessing the underlying cause of the issues, fostering a more mature relationship with your parents, and changing how you think and behave are all part of developing a better relationship.If you want to improve your relationship with your parents, there are a number of steps that can be taken.
Step 1: First, act.
Don't wait for your parents to try to improve the relationship.You should act first if you want to improve your relationship with your parents.
Step 2: Be grateful.
Consider all the ways in which your parents have helped and influenced you.It is possible that you will be more willing to improve your relationship with your parents if they annoy you.Let your parents know that you appreciate what they have done for you.It can be difficult for parents to feel taken for granted.Show your appreciation by doing something.If you live with your parents, do some extra housework without being asked.They are likely to be happy with you for this.
Step 3: You need to separate from your parents.
This is not to say that you shouldn't love your parents.You may be less invested in arguments or disagreements with your parents if you are less emotionally attached to them.You can walk away from a situation more easily if you do this.You can separate yourself from your parents in two different ways.Seek their approval, focus less on it.You can define yourself through your own eyes.Acknowledge your past and move on.Your relationship with your parents may have been difficult before.Do not let the role you played in your relationship with your parents define you going forward.
Step 4: Take their point of view.
People don't get along because they fail to consider other's perspectivesYou will be more willing to compromise and improve the relationship if you can empathise with another's position.You should accept that your parents are different.They grew up in a different generation with different rules of conduct, different technologies and different ways of thinking, and their parents probably treated them differently than they do today.Think about the ways in which their lives may have been different from yours, and how that may contribute to issues in the relationship.If you talk about improving your relationship with them, use this information.Ask them to think about their relationship with their parents.If they can recall any issues they had with their parents, that's great.If your relationship with your parents is rocky because they disapprove of you moving in with a significant other before marriage, try reminding them that in their generation people were even more conservative still, and that times have changed.
Step 5: You should develop your own identity.
It is healthy for you to have your own opinion on matters.Your relationship may improve organically if you gain a new found sense of independence and separation from your parents.Do you want to engage in self-discovery?Ask yourself some serious questions about yourself if you want to know how you should live your life, including your parents.Answering questions such as "what feelings do I want to feel most?" is important.Do you want to spend more time on something?"What are my talents?"What kind of person am I?If you are going along with your parents' opinion because you also believe it, or if you have an automatic inclination to think about what they do about something, you should consider that.
Step 6: Think of them as adults, not parents.
You may behave in a way that is child-like if you continue to see them as your parents.You may be leaving the door open for your parents to give you unneeded advice if you continue to expect them to support you financially.
Step 7: Take a look at the underlying cause.
Take a look at what's troubling you about your relationship with your parents.You may want to improve your relationship.You may feel like your parents give you too much advice, that they treat you like a child, or that you don't respect their opinions.You want to improve your relationship if you have a good sense of it.
Step 8: Be respectful.
If you don't agree with your parents' parenting style, values or principles, be courteous to them and they will be less likely to put you in a defensive parenting mode.You can be respectful in a number of ways.Try using polite language, speaking modestly, and letting them finish speaking before you take your turn.
Step 9: Don't let things get out of hand.
If you have a fight with your parents, do everything you can to repair it.This will show you care about the relationship.You will have been fighting for less time.
Step 10: Keep calm.
When talking to your parents, don't overreact, you may end up saying things you regret, which will damage your relationship and make you seem immature.If you feel a wave of strong emotion coming on when you are interacting with your parents, it's a good idea to ask yourself some questions.How bad will it be to mow the lawn in a disagreement with your parents?If you don't live with your parents but they are involved in your life, you might ask: "What is their motivation for wanting to be involved?"Is it because they care about me and worry about my finances?Asking yourself questions like this may give you insight into how you should respond to your parents.You can try to improve your relationship by easing their concerns about your finances.If re-assessing your situation doesn't reduce how emotional you are, ask if you can continue the discussion once you've cooled off.Explain that you don't want to say something rude or regretful because you are upset.
Step 11: Don't be negative.
You should smile at your parents.Stay positive.Let them know that you care about their well-being with your body language.The tone of your communication will be set by this.Your parents may mimic your positive emotions.Setting a mood that fosters positive relationship change will be aided by this emotional mimicry.
Step 12: Unless you really want it, don't ask for advice.
At the teenage years and beyond, parents can try to give advice in an overpowering way that can interfere with your sense of independence. To get around this, try only asking for their advice when you are sure that you really want it.If you ask your parents if you are lazy, you may be opening the door to frustration on your part.
Step 13: Open and honest is what you should do.
One way to improve your relationship is to be more willing to talk to your parents about uncomfortable topics.This will improve your relationship with your parents.Keep in touch with your parents so they can get a better perspective on your life and what makes you happy.It will be difficult for them to improve the relationship if they don't know you.If your parents listen to you, you can try to improve the relationship.
Step 14: Make rules.
Some topics are off-limits if you want to maintain a positive relationship with parents.If you are older or no longer living with your parents, this may work better.Rules that both you and your parents agree to abide by can be created.In order to improve your relationship with your parents, you should sit down with them and tell them you want to, but that there should be some rules.You should ask that they make a list of the rules they want implemented.If you are a teenager or child, rules can include not bringing up certain topics, giving you a chance to try things on your own, or letting you stay out later at night as long as you check in by text or call.If you are an adult, you can ask your parents not to interfere with the way you choose to parent your own children, or not comment negatively on your significant other.Discuss the different rules and come up with a list that you all agree on.If you and your parents are still happy with the rules that you have agreed on, you should check in occasionally.
Step 15: Don't have unnecessary arguments.
Do your best to refrain from arguments that are unavoidable.If one of your parents says something controversial, you have to bite your tongue.Determine if the need to respond is necessary.In order to avoid an overly emotional argument, make the point clearly and modestly.
Step 16: Don't let interactions get out of hand.
Show your parents that you are mature by being fair and logical about issues.If parents see you acting mature, they will treat you accordingly.