When you are no longer in a relationship with the other parent of your child, you may need the court's help to make suitable arrangements regarding where the child will live and who will make decisions on her behalf.If you plan to file a lawsuit in court for an initial custody order or a modification to an existing order, there are certain actions you can take that could increase your odds of getting a favorable ruling at trial.There isn't a real formula that's guaranteed in all cases, so you have to take your individual circumstances into account.
Step 1: Consider hiring an attorney.
Judges have great latitude for discretion in family law.You will be expected to understand the law and know the procedural rules if you file on your own.
Step 2: There are different kinds of child custody.
You should know the difference between types of custody so you can ask the court for it.If you have physical custody, the child lives with you most of the time.If you have legal custody, you can make decisions about the child's life, such as where they go to school or church.Sole or joint custody can be awarded by courts.Sole custody means you are the only parent with that type of custody, while joint custodymeans both parents share it.You may have both physical and legal custody.
Step 3: There are requirements for filing a custody case in your state.
Depending on whether you are filing for an initial order or a modification of an existing order, the requirements will be different.If the parents were never married, the initial request for a custody determination may be filed during a case to settle paternity.When you file for legal separation in some states, you can request a court custody order.If you want to modify an existing order, you have to show that there has been a significant change in circumstances.A custody modification is essential to the child's welfare because of the changed circumstances.
Step 4: Decide what you want out of the case.
If you're asking for changes to an existing order, you need to know the precise details of the arrangement you want.A broad request such as "I want custody" won't suffice.Write down what you want in the first column of a sheet of paper.If you want to make all school decisions for your child, that would be on your list.It would be another item if you wanted to have your child with you on Christmas.Write down what you need to prove to get the thing you want in the second column as you conduct your research.List the evidence you can gather to prove it in the third column.If you want to make all of your child's school decisions, your state would prefer that both parents make them equally.In the second column, you would have to prove that allowing the other parent to help with school decisions would endanger your child.If the other parent refused to let your child participate in special needs programs despite the fact that they were diagnosed with a learning disability, this would be evidence that you shouldn't allow them to help make school decisions.
Step 5: Understand your state's standards.
Child custody is determined by the best interests of the child, although the factors analyzed in making this decision vary among states and on a case-by-case basis.The child's best interests are determined by factors such as where the parents want the child to live, how she gets along with her parents, siblings, or anyone else in the home, and her school and community.The law presumes certain custody arrangements to be in the best interests of the child.If you want the court to reach a different result, you have to prove that following it would endanger the child's health and welfare.Many states assume it is in the best interest of the child if both parents share decision-making power.To overcome the presumption, you must show that allowing the other parent to make decisions would endanger the child.You should emphasize the factors that are weighing against this.If your child's other parent is alcoholic and neglectful, that could make it difficult for that parent to have equal time with the child.
Step 6: Understand case law.
Judges look to statutes to rule on a case, but they also look at case law, which is decisions already made by higher courts in similar cases.You can find a database on the website of your state's highest court.You can find case law resources at the law library in your local courthouse if one is not available.Write down any cases that are similar to yours.If the case supports what you want, make a note of it.If a case goes against what you want, figure out how to distinguish the case from your own, and be prepared to explain to the judge how your case is different from the one that's already been decided.
Step 7: You should make a list of your strengths and weaknesses.
Your judge will know that nobody is perfect.Accepting that you aren't as effective in some areas will go a long way, instead of trying to present yourself as a superhero or knight in shining armor.Assessing yourself objectively can help you have a more balanced approach.
Step 8: List the other parent's strengths and weaknesses.
The judge will be able to tell when you're being biased for reasons other than the child's best interests.If you thought the other parent was a great parent, you wouldn't file for custody.You can compromise and give him a larger role in the child's life if he can do well in certain areas.
Step 9: Where do you need to file your case?
The court that issued the original order most likely will hear the request for modification.The correct court for a divorce and custody order will most likely be in the county where you or your spouse live.The court where the child has lived for at least six months should be the one to approve the move.It is advisable to consult an attorney.
Step 10: Go to the court and watch the judge.
If you know the judge who will be hearing your case, you should sit in that judge's courtroom gallery while the court is in session.In smaller counties, there is only one judge who hears family law cases.You will not be assigned a judge until you file your documents.You can get the court's calendar if you know who your judge will be.Domestic relations hearings are open to the public.There will be a lot of people in the courtroom on motion days.Sitting in court allows you to get a feel for the type of issues that come up during a custody case, and how your judge handles those issues.Make a note of how your judge interacts with people who don't have attorneys, including whether she seems to be harder on them or if she is more understanding and helps them navigate the system.
Step 11: Use your observations to revise your lists.
You can revise your list of what you want out of your case after you've seen your judge in action.
Step 12: You should gather evidence to support your argument.
It's not possible to win a custody case simply by telling the judge that you would be a better parent.If you're unsure about the legality of your methods, talk to an attorney.It's perfectly legal in some states to record your own phone conversations with anyone, but not in others.You may have to file a case in order to get the evidence you need.Once you've filed a case, you can request certain documents or information from the other side, interview the party under oath, and inspect relevant property or other items.To show how you could provide for the child, calculate your income and make estimated budgets.If you had custody of the child, you should include those resources as well.If your child is living with you, his grandparents will be able to pick him up from school, saving you money.
Step 13: If you can get together with the other parent and work out a temporary or permanent arrangement on your own, you don't need to file a case in court.
If you and the other parent have a good relationship, you may be able to reach an agreement with the help of a neutral third party.
Step 14: You can fill out forms or draft documents.
You need to file a petition and open a new case if you are filing for an initial custody order.For modification of an existing order, you would typically file a motion in the same court that issued the original order.You can get forms in the clerk's office of your local court.If you're having trouble completing them, you can talk to someone at a legal self-help center who will walk you through the process.
Step 15: If necessary, sign in front of the person who will sign it.
You need to wait until you're in the presence of a notary so she can witness you signing the documents.You may be charged a small fee for the services at the courthouse.
Step 16: Make copies of your signed documents and assemble them with all the exhibits.
You need to make at least three copies of your packet of paperwork.If you want to verify how many copies you need, talk to someone in the clerk's office.
Step 17: The clerk of court can help you with your documents.
When you pay the filing fee, the clerk will stamp your originals and copies "filed" and give you the copies back.One of the copies you need to send to the other parent is for your records.Depending on the court where you file and whether you're filing for an initial order or a modification of an existing order, the fees will vary.You can usually expect to pay less than $200.If you can't afford the filing fees, the court will give you a form to fill out.The clerk will schedule a date for your next appearance after you file your originals with the court.In many states, you have to complete court-ordered mediation before your case can be heard by a judge.
Step 18: You should serve your documents to the other parent.
When you file for custody, you have to send the paperwork to the other parent or guardian so they can respond to your lawsuit.If the court requires personal service, you should find out if you can serve using certified mail.If personal service is required, you can either call the state marshal's office or hire a private process serving company.There should be a list of acceptable process server in the clerk's office.
Step 19: Continue to build your case.
Interrogatories, requests for production, and depositions can be used to get additional information from the other parent in your case.