You may see yourself making statements like "Yea, but what I was trying to say earlier was..." if you have a chattery friend.The person may make it difficult to get a word in edgewise.A friend who talks too much can be a problem.Strategies to limit their talking can help you manage their chattiness.If your friend isn't willing to change, it's a good idea to tell them about their problem and set boundaries.
Step 1: Positive feedback is not a good idea.
Positive attention may help your friend finish up faster.It won't.Placating them will only make them talk longer.Don't give any positive feedback, like nodding your head or saying "Ahh"
Step 2: They should be asked to get to the point.
A long-winded friend may not know that they are boring.Ask them if they can wrap it up once the chat becomes too much.It would be inappropriate for someone you don't know well to use this tactic, but it should be effective for a friend.You could say, "I'm sorry, you're losing me."Is it possible to summarize what you are trying to say?
Step 3: Indicate if you are short on time.
Let your friend know that you can't listen to them all the time.If you get an opener to end the chat, it will help you to become active in the conversation.I would love to hear about your day, but I am late for an appointment.warning them at the beginning of a conversation that you have a limited amount of time to chatLet them know that I only have 5 minutes to talk, then I really have to get going.
Step 4: If you want to change the subject, pull someone else in.
If you and your friend are in a group setting, one technique is to take away their captive audience.You can signal to your friend that they have lost your interest by looking away and engaging with someone else in the group.It is possible to abruptly change the subject.The best way to use this is to tell another friend that you love their scarf.Did you know that I bought new scarves last weekend?
Step 5: Get lost in thought.
If push comes to shove and you can't seem to get away from her, use your imagination.Pick out the plot of your favorite book or movie.Take a quick look at fast facts for an upcoming test.Think about what you would like to eat.This suggestion is likely to be considered rude.This may be the only way to deal with a friend who talks too much if you have tried other options.Your friend may not notice that you are not paying attention.
Step 6: If necessary, stop the conversation.
You may have to end the conversation abruptly as a last resort.You can say you need to go to the restroom or remind them of the time.Don't return to the same environment when you're done.They might start again if you do.You can say something short and sweet.I have to leave.
Step 7: For a while.
For a short time, listen to your friend talk.Try to understand their message as you listen.Think about their motives and emotional experience.They want to talk to you instead of with you.Understanding what your friend is trying to communicate can help you get a say in the conversation.
Step 8: Interrupt respectfully.
You won't be getting an opportunity to talk once you've had enough of listening.When there is an obvious pause, you might jump in with a response.Do it graciously.If you say something or finish them, ask if it is okay.You might say, "Are you finished?"Your friend may want to finish talking.Let them if it's true.
Step 9: Say what they said.
You can start your side of the conversation if you prove that you're listening.In your own words, give a brief summary of their message.If your understanding is correct, ask them.You could say, "I thought I would try to say back what you said to me to make sure I got it right."Then say something like, "It sounds like you were really frustrated about your score on the math test because you put a lot of effort into studying."You don't know what you did wrong.Is that correct?
Step 10: If they try to interrupt, assert yourself.
Your friend may try to take over the conversation when you are trying to summarize.Ask them to be patient.You could say, "I listened to you."I need a chance to finish what I'm saying.
Step 11: Tell a story of your own.
You can make yourself an equal participant in the conversation by offering your own contribution.You could use their experience as a benchmark to share a similar experience of yours.You could say, "After I took a Latin test that I thought I had done well on."I had a zero when I got my score back.All of my answers were incorrect because I had misinterpreted the instructions.The teacher allowed me to make up the test.Maybe you will be able to do the same thing.
Step 12: Consider why your friend would like to have a conversation.
Some people talk when they are nervous, others struggle to read social cues, and some people just get excited.Try to understand why your friend is so reticent.This can help you approach the subject in a positive way.
Step 13: Don't criticize the criticisms.
It is true that your friend may be selfish, but it will not benefit your friendship to label them.No matter how frustrated you become by your friend's inconsiderate monologues, avoid name-calling or criticisms at all costs.
Step 14: Tell them how you feel.
If you want to maintain this friendship with your sanity intact, you will need to call attention to your friend's bad communication habit.Speak softly.Use "I" statements to explain your issue with their chattiness.You could say that you are feeling a bit frustrated.I feel like I don't get a word in when we get together.It would be great if we could start giving and taking in our conversations.
Step 15: Firm boundaries should be set.
If your friend is walking over you in a conversation, they may be doing that in other ways as well.Firm personal boundaries can be set after you bring up the matter of your friend dominating conversations.Think about how you would like to be treated by your friend.Clarify these boundaries.You have already spoken one boundary with your friend by speaking up about being steamrolled.
Step 16: The dynamic of the relationship can be changed.
Change the dynamic of your friendship if it isn't working.It is possible to accept your friend as they are.If your friend isn't respecting your boundaries, you can make some changes that are more acceptable for you.Changes might include not hanging out with your friend as often, getting together as a group rather than one-on-one, or hanging in certain contexts that limit talking.