You spend a lot of time at work.From time-to-time, friends and lovers should come up.You prefer not to combine work and romance in order to keep your private life separate from your work life.Try to maintain strict professionalism in your work relationships and take steps to avoid other issues.You need to make sure your coworker understands your boundaries if there is a problem.
Step 1: Determine the boundaries.
You don't want to be in a romantic relationship at work.You have to figure out how to set boundaries for yourself and your co-workers.One of your boundaries might be to never accept an invitation for socializing outside of work from a member of the sex you're interested in.You can make it a hard and fast rule once you have established that.It's possible that your boundary is to never be alone with a person you're attracted to.If you have boundaries, discuss them with your partner.Your boundaries can be determined by what your partner is comfortable with.
Step 2: Don't stray from your boundaries.
The first step is establishing your boundaries.You need to follow through with those boundaries.Making a boundary clear when it comes up is part of following through.For instance, if someone invites you out for a drink and you've decided that's one of your boundaries, say, "I don't go out alone with colleagues in situations like that."If you're attracted to someone and don't want to be alone, invite other coworkers along.
Step 3: Discuss boundaries with someone you're attracted to.
You need to acknowledge the elephant in the room sometimes.If you spend a lot of time with one person at work because of traveling and schedules, you may need to acknowledge that attraction and establish boundaries.You could say, "I think we have a certain chemistry between us."I hope it's not one-sided.I think we should have some ground rules.I wouldn't consider having an affair because I think it would get too complicated, but I have no problem with some flirting.What are your thoughts?
Step 4: If you're attracted to coworkers, try not to be alone with them.
When you're alone for extended periods with a co-worker who you find attractive, there's a chance of romantic entanglements.It cuts out the possibility of romance if you have another person with you.If you can limit this type of interaction, it may cut down on your romantic feelings.
Step 5: It's a good idea to remind yourself of the issues with romances.
It can be difficult to have workplace romances.If you date someone at the office, you're opening up the possibility of drama and post-breakup emotional fallout.If a relationship or fling went south, what would happen?
Step 6: As needed, ask to switch.
Bring the potentially problematic situation to your boss.If you think something could happen between you and a coworker, you could ask to switch teams or work with other people.Is it possible for me to work less with John?I don't feel comfortable working on his team because of the chemistry there.
Step 7: Everyone should be treated the same.
It's your job to get along with everyone.You should be able to have pleasant conversations with everyone in the office, even if you don't like everyone.You're less likely to encourage romances if you treat everyone equally.If you find yourself attracted to someone, the best thing to do is treat them with the same respect you treat everyone else.
Step 8: Socialize after work.
It's natural for you to have feelings for your colleagues because you spend a lot of time with them.Spending time with other friends after hours can help you realize that there are other people in the world.You don't have to exclude your work friends, but having other friends outside of work will give you some perspective.
Step 9: Don't be flirting.
You can be warm to people in the office.You don't have to flirt, touch a person's arm, or lean in if you feel attracted to them.Keep your conversations professional.Some companies consider flirting a fireable offense.
Step 10: Drop a few hints.
If someone at work is giving you unwanted attention, you can try to get them to back down.You can always have another commitment if they always ask you to have drinks or go out for dinner.You can say you have too much work to chat if they come around too often.The emphasis should be back on work.You could say "I'm sorry" if the person comes up to your desk.I don't have time to chat because I'm busy.
Step 11: You should be direct.
It's time to be direct if you've given someone hints and they haven't taken them.Tell them you don't want to have a romantic relationship at work, and that you want your relationship to be professional.Discuss any behaviors that are inappropriate.You could say, "I don't know if this is where you're going, but I'd really like to keep my relationships at work strictly professional."I get the feeling that you are interested in something more when you ask me for drinks.I never pursue romantic relationships at work.
Step 12: There is a sexual harassment policy at your company.
It's important to know where your company stands on the issue if you're getting unwanted attention.If you read your company's policy, you'll be able to couch the issue in terms that the company uses.
Step 13: You can bring the issue to your boss.
It's important that your boss or human resources know if the attention continues.If your company has a sexual harassment policy, you should approach it.Ask them what they can do to help you with the problem.You could say, "I've made it clear to John that I'm not interested in him romantically, yet he keeps asking me out."After reading the company's policy, I believe that it falls under sexual harassment.Can you help me with this issue?