It can get you down emotionally if you feel put down.It's up to you to react to it.If the insult is from a friend, there's truth to what they say, and it isn't really meant as an insult.If you can't get an insult out of your head, you may need to use some mechanisms.If you want to deal with insults in the moment, you can choose an appropriate response.
Step 1: Use humor to blow it off.
To laugh off an insult is one way to get over it.If someone tries to put you down, laugh at them.The act of laughing makes you feel better about it, even though you may still feel hurt inside.It's harder to be upset when you're laughing.You could say "Yep, just the way I like all my dresses!" if someone said, "That's a really ugly dress."
Step 2: The insult is a gift.
You don't have to be thankful for it.One anecdote about the Buddha helps clarify the statement.The Buddha was not offended when he was insulted.The Buddha looked at the insult as a gift that could be refused, asking "Who does the gift belong to if it's refused?"It's a way of thinking about the insult.You can return it to the person if you don't want to take offense.
Step 3: You don't care about people who insult you.
Ignore the person who is insulting you if you don't like them.If they don't have your respect, you have no reason to give credit for the insult.Try not to be bothered by a random stranger or someone who insulted you.People who insult other people are probably not very happy.They might be trying to make someone else feel bad.
Step 4: Stand up for yourself when you need to.
Sometimes you need to stand up for yourself even if you don't take offense.Sometimes confronting a person is the only way to stop being insulted.It can help you deal with any feelings of resentment.If someone makes you feel bad, try telling them to stop."Your insults mean nothing to me, so you might as well stop," is a direct approach you could use.I will report you if you don't.If you're dealing with someone who's being rude at a business, you can report them to your teacher, a boss, or both.You can use it as a way to reproach some people, but you can't report everyone.You could use humor to insult.You could say "Not as ugly as your attitude!" if someone said, "That's a really ugly dress!"
Step 5: Take a look at the put down.
Do you think there is truth to the put down?It hurts so much because you will often find truth to it.Think about who the statement came from if you find it true.If it's someone you usually trust, take a deep breath and reexamine the insult.
Step 6: Why did the person say it?
Think about why someone might have said the insult.They may not have meant it to be an insult, but rather a constructive criticism.They are not trying to make you angry by saying something that is true about you.Someone may have said, "You know, sometimes the things you say are a little mean."It can be seen as an insult, as you might think they are saying you're a jerk.They may be trying to get you to think about the way you treat people, and so the statement comes from a genuine place of caring.
Step 7: Don't be offended.
If you find that the person you respect is actually a decent person, consider how it can help you.Don't get offended if you use the truth of the statement to guide your decisions.Think about "You know, sometimes the things you say are a little mean."Think about how that statement could help you.You could start thinking about what you say and how it affects other people.That could help you improve your relationships.
Step 8: Allow the insult to come back in a positive way.
If you were hurt by the situation, you're going to keep thinking about the insult.Go ahead and think about it.When you feel the thoughts surface, just go ahead and feel it.Until it surfaces again, let it go for the moment.An objective approach to the feeling is what you should try to do.You're not letting the feeling drown you.If you're ready to let go of the shame, check every time you go through the process.Asking yourself a question can help you let go of some of it.
Step 9: Deep breathing and redirecting can be used.
Try to move on once you've let yourself think about the event.Start by closing your eyes and taking a few deep breaths.Then, think about something else.If you keep your mind away from the insult, it doesn't matter what it is.This technique can help keep you from thinking about what happened.
Step 10: Why did the insult upset you so much?
Think about why you were so emotional when you heard the insult.If you hold a belief or view the world in a certain way, the insults hurt the most.That thinking was shattered by the insult.It's possible that you need to shift your thinking just a bit so you're not as vulnerable next time.You might think of people as generally good.When someone disrespects you on the subway, you're upset not just because of the insult, but also because the person has shattered your view of reality.Accepting that some people aren't nice can help take the sting out of an insult.
Step 11: Sometimes it's not about you at all.
You might think it's not about me.It was an insult directed at me.How can it not be about me?Most people who spout off mean things are trying to work through a problem or stress.They let it explode all over you with an insult, instead of dealing with it in a healthy way.Someone who is always mean may not have learned how to deal with other people in a positive way.It's not about you, but about the emotional problems the person has.
Step 12: Give it time.
If you are a sensitive person, it may take a while to get over the insult.You can take the time you need to get over what happened and stop thinking about what another person said.The time you need to stop feeling hurt is yours to take.
Step 13: Don't be afraid to talk about things that make you cringe.
If you let an insult humiliate you, it will only hold power over you.People will find fewer things they can insult you with if you have few things that are embarrassing.If you want to be less embarrassed, open up to your friends and family about the things that make you cringe.Many of the people around you have the same secret, and Secrecy will only increase your shame.Talking about the insult that's upsetting you can make you feel better, as a family member or friend may be able to point out things that you hadn't noticed.
Step 14: The focus should be on you.
It is important to return the focus to yourself once in a while and think about what you think.Are you in agreement with the comment?What is your opinion if not?If someone said your outfit looks trashy, reflect on why you wore it.Did you like the colors or the shape of the clothes?That is what matters if that is the case.Not the other person's opinion.