If you suspect your child is doing something wrong, you have to protect them.Children and adolescents need to be monitored to keep them away from dangerous situations.If your child is hiding something, you should learn how to get to the bottom of the issue.
Step 1: New behaviors to watch for.
It takes a lot of energy for adolescents to stay out of their parents' sight.The bigger the issue your child is hiding, the more likely it is that there are questionable patterns in their behavior that point to the misdeed.You can observe new behaviors in your child, such as sudden surge in phone calls and talking for longer durations.There has been an increase in TV watching.Increased online web browsing time may be used to chat with others or research a secret topic.You haven't met new friends.There is a new style of dress.There are new words or phrases.There are new interests.Music, leisure activities, movies, etc.More angry.Rolling eyes.After talking to you, Stomping off.When they haven't before, always demand privacy.
Step 2: Look for a decrease in old behaviors.
New behaviors may pop up in a secretive child, but you may also notice a decline in their normal behavior patterns.Maybe your child used to be very respectful, but now mouths off at any chance.Your child may no longer be interested in academic success if they don't make good grades in school.Energy can be put into extracurricular activities.Dinner with the family is what you want to do.They used to eat the same amount.They used to sleep for the same times.Tell them where they have been.They used to talk about the day in the past.They may spend more time in their room with friends or with their family.Allow a younger or older sibling to come into the room.Some objects have strange signs of possessiveness.
Step 3: Contact the parents of your child's friends.
It may be a good idea to befriend the parents of your child's friends, even if you don't hang out with them.It gives you access to a buddy system for gaining information about your child and their friends, and keeps you in the loop.
Step 4: Don't let your door close.
Your child can come to you at any time.It's possible that your child already knows this, but reminding them on occasion may be helpful.This should not be done after a room search or questioning.Say "I understand that you are going through things that are confusing or troubling."It can be difficult to grow up.No matter how small, you can always come and talk to me."I know that must have been hard for you to talk about, but when your child opens up, reinforce this behavior by affirming it."I appreciate you trusting me to tell you what's going on.
Step 5: You should attend your child.
You may miss out on opportunities to have meaningful conversations with your child because parents are often juggling a dozen tasks at once.Aim to listen when your child talks to you.Ensure that your body language is open.You make regular eye contact, and you make expressions to show you are listening, when you have arms and legs uncrossed.You send a message when you don't attend to your child when they try to talk to you.They might keep things to themselves in the future.
Step 6: Look for the beginning of the conversation.
If your child needs to talk to you, make yourself available as soon as possible.Your body language can signal a lack of interest in what your child is saying.When you miss conversation openers, this is also true.Your daughter comes home upset.She starts talking about a fight with her best friend when you ask what's wrong.She is upset about "teenage drama" and you slowly tune her out.She will stop the conversation if you don't engage in it.Even the simplest conversations can be used to connect with your child.They may be more confident that you'll listen to the big things if they feel like they can talk to you about the little things.
Step 7: Search the room.
As an adult in your household, you have an obligation to know what your children are doing.You don't know if you need to protect your child from someone else or yourself.It may be wrong to look around your child's room.Taking a look around their bedroom might be the only way to find out if they are hiding something.If you decide to search, look in drawers beneath or between clothes, under the bed, between notebooks, CD or DVD cases, in backpacks or duffel bags, inside books with pages cut out, and under loose floorboards.Privacy in your child's room helps them learn to set boundaries with other people.When signs have pointed to something being amiss or when you have found evidence, snooping around in your child's bedroom should be done.
Step 8: Check their phone or computer.
You might want to take a quick look at any electronic devices your child uses.Look through your child's electronics.You should be on the lookout for any social media apps that your child doesn't have permission to use.It is possible that your child is communicating with people who are posing as teenagers.If your child has a lot of password-protected apps, be careful.It is possible that your child is hiding something in their phone or computer if they are adamant about not handing over passwords.Monitoring apps can be installed on these devices to keep an eye on your child's usage.Certain apps are being designed to help hide photos, videos, messages, and other apps that your child does not want you to see.Hide It Pro and Vaulty are included.If you find a new app in your child's phone, stay on top of it.Similar to their bedroom, technology is a private thing for your child; limit these searches to when something seems wrong and they won't open up.
Step 9: Explaining the need to search is simple.
If you find questionable evidence, be upfront with your child.They will probably lie to protect themselves if you try to set them up by asking if they are doing anything wrong.If you find evidence that is upsetting, give it to your child in a straightforward manner and ask them to explain it.You might say, "You have recently been staying out late and being very secretive."I searched your room because I wanted to make sure you weren't involved in anything that could be harmful to you.Can you tell me why you have it?When you follow this method, you are upfront and honest with your child and they understand that it is a result of their own actions.
Step 10: Know the signs of a lie.
If you suspect that your child is lying, explain to them that it is against the law.There is a loss of privileges.Surprised expression is how to spot a lie.raised eyebrows, open mouth, or dropped jaw across forehead.A question is asked when a subject is broached.Fearful expression.Open mouth with tension, brows drawn together, raised upper lid, and tense lower lid.A question is asked when a subject is broached.Relief when the subject is changed.Answers that don't sound right.Answers that don't answer the first question.To fill the silence, answer that gives a surplus of detail.Discrepancies in how they say they feel.
Step 11: Refrain from lecturing or passing judgement.
It is possible for your child to accidentally share details about themselves or their friends.You have to tell your child why this is wrong.Unless your child tells you life-threatening information, don't lecture or listen.
Step 12: When your child is talking, use the time to learn as much as you can.
frame it as a nonjudgmental question that is seeking for understanding rather than a nagging statement if you must go back to something they discussed.You mentioned that Randy may be using drugs.What do you think about that?Asking your kid a question helps you to determine their frame of mind without doing unnecessary nagging that causes them to shut down.The opportunity to show your child that he is capable of making responsible decisions and reading dangerous situations is given by this.