It is not enjoyable to experience.You are excited to claim him as your boyfriend, because you think you have found a great guy.Something doesn't feel right.Whether it's a gnawing feeling in your gut, red flags in his behavior, or warnings from friends, you're on high alert.Is your partner using you?It is important to find out if he is going to be your boyfriend for a long time.
Step 1: He wants to spend time with you.
Is he only interested in hanging out at night?Does he really want to spend time with you?He only has time for you when you have an invitation to a party.This can say a lot about his intentions if you pay close attention to when he wants to see you.
Step 2: He wants to spend time with you.
It's a red flag if he only wants to be in the bedroom.It's possible that he doesn't want to make you a public part of his life because he would rather be alone in his home.
Step 3: There are red flags and warning signs.
Think about the details of each.Consider how often he says something that makes you uneasy.It's a good idea to make a list so you can gather your thoughts and voice your concerns.Are you holding a grudge over something he did six months ago?When you have to be willing to forgive and forget if he's said sorry, there are times when you should look out for yourself and stand your ground.It's annoying when you don't call when he says he will.It's not acceptable to blow you off on your birthday because he had something else to do.If you want to know how bad his actions are, you should go down the list.
Step 4: Talk to people that you trust.
People can see things you can't.There are rumors, warnings, and advice from people.Only you and your boyfriend are in the relationship.The dirty laundry of your relationship shouldn't be made public.This can cause more problems.Trustworthy and well-intentioned people should only be consulted.
Step 5: It's up to you to decide what to do.
If you've looked at the situation, spoken to people you trust, and decided your suspicion is silly, you can move on.It's possible that you have some confidence issues that need to be addressed.You will need to figure out how to confront the situation with your boyfriend if you are certain that there are valid reasons to be uneasy.
Step 6: Give him what he wants.
If you think he is using you for something, get rid of it.Then, watch his reaction.There should be a lot of things that make your partner happy.This might be a problem if the relationship suffers greatly because of one change.
Step 7: If you think your boyfriend is using you for sex or physical affection, tell him you want to cool off.
If he only wants to hang out in the bedroom at night, tell him you want to go out during the day.You don't want to be intimate with him right now.He should respect your boundaries."I want to focus on our emotional connection, so let's hold off on the physical stuff for now."His reaction will tell you if he's using you or not.He will stick around if he cares about furthering the relationship.If he doesn't want to be with you, then you should ditch him.It is your body.When you say "No," your boyfriend respects that.
Step 8: If you think your boyfriend wants that, you should protect your money.
If you need to give an excuse, tell him that you don't feel comfortable spending money anymore.It's understandable if your boyfriend doesn't have the money to buy you gifts, but it is not ok if he demands that you spoil him.When your money is gone, the interest is bad.Tell your boyfriend, "I really need to start saving my money, so I am going to cut back my spending a lot."You can remind him of this if he asks you for money or something.He will tell you what you need to know.It is possible to take the same approach with any other thing your boyfriend might be using you for.Quality boyfriends will stick it out if they think the relationship is worth it.
Step 9: He does things for you.
If your boyfriend isn't doing anything for you, you may not notice.It is easy to be in love with someone.Start paying attention to the things he doesn't do for you.Basic ways of showing he cares are what this means.Does he make any simple, yet meaningful gestures, such as bringing you a coffee when he knows you are tired or texting you encouragement when you're having a bad day?
Step 10: There is a difference between sweet compliment and flattery.
He probably cares if he says he loves your sense of humor and wants to listen to your problems.He will ask for a favor if he raves about your beauty.When he doesn't get any benefit in return, take special note of the things he does.It is a great sign if he does nice things to make you feel good.
Step 11: Take a bit of time to be alone.
You don't have to make a big announcement to your boyfriend that you need a break, but find a way to get away for a little bit.It is easy to ignore warning signs when you are with your boyfriend.You may not be able to think clearly with him if you are blinded by love or intimidated by the thought of refusing something.You should reflect on the relationship when you are away from him.Are you giving the same amount to him?It is beneficial to have healthy relationships.You will be able to see how he does on his own if you give him space.
Step 12: You should plan a time to talk and approach the situation calmly.
It is important to let him know that you would like to have a discussion, otherwise he will be defensive and upset.He will have time to reflect on your relationship and prepare for a discussion.You have time to calm down, gather your thoughts, and figure out how you will address him if you plan to talk.It's important to enter the conversation calmly and with a level head.If you spend the conversation crying and cursing at him, it will not be productive.
Step 13: Discuss your concerns.
Don't attack him, be blunt.Don't minimize how you've felt, or sweep your feelings under the rug.You shouldn't shy away from expressing yourself because it may be uncomfortable.He can give an explanation, comfort you, or improve his behavior by laying your feelings out on the table.He doesn't think you are attacking him if you start your sentences with "I"If you say "I feel sad when we only spend time together at night", it will sound better to your boyfriend.
Step 14: Let him talk.
If you are certain that his use of you is justified, you should let him explain himself.If you interrupt him, this will increase the tension of the situation.Wait until he is finished speaking to address the issue that you disagree with.After placing your concerns on the table, you can analyze his reaction by giving him the floor.Is he apologetic or defensive?Your feelings are valid.Don't let your boyfriend make you feel guilty if he thinks he has done nothing wrong.
Step 15: As a couple or alone, decide how you will move forward.
When you have addressed what has been on your mind and your boyfriend has heard how you are feeling, you can decide how to proceed.Maybe it's time to end the relationship if he doesn't offer an explanation and apology that makes you feel better about the future of your relationship.If you want to stay with your boyfriend for the right reasons, you need to create a plan with him.You need to figure out how to correct these issues if your feelings are hurting and you feel like you're giving too much.You will end up in the same situation if you don't change.
Step 16: Remember what you learned and use it.
You will gain valuable information if you stand your ground, confront the situation, and move on.You know what you will and won't accept in these situations, develop strategies for handling conflict, and hone your conflict resolution skills.It is painful to be used, but you have the chance to demand better treatment in the future.