Difficult relatives can be difficult to deal with.
You have no choice but to deal with difficult family members who you can't choose.You want to know how to interact with them so that you don't drive yourself crazy.Staying calm and being assertive can be used to deal with difficult relatives.Then, use strategies to make their interactions more pleasant.When it's necessary to save your sanity, it can help to distance yourself from them.
Step 1: Keep calm.
You can ask your relatives to get under your skin.If you allow that, you could make things worse.When there are difficulties, get your emotions under control.You can learn how to recognize when you are angry.Get some fresh air, count to 100, or practice deep breathing when you are triggered.
Step 2: Use the words "I" to be assertive.
If you have a run-in with a difficult family member, practice assertiveness to avoid being railroaded.As little words as possible, say what you have to say.Use "I" statements that allow you to take ownership of your feelings and ask for what you need without causing defensiveness in the other person.You could say, "I don't appreciate when you speak for me."I would like to answer the questions myself.
Step 3: Resist the guilt-trip.
Difficult family members often use guilt-tripping.A form of emotional abuse is trying to sway your decisions by making you feel guilty.There is no need to play into the trap.Say your aunt guilt-trips you by saying, "Well, I've traveled all this way."Aunt Margaret, please don't try to guilt-trip me, I thought you all would at least let me choose the menu for the event.You can choose the dessert and entree.The rest of the menu will be voted on by a group.
Step 4: Don't listen to what they have to say.
Have you listened to what your family member has to say?All people want to be heard.There is a chance that part of what the person is saying is true.You may be able to work through a misunderstanding if youActively listen to what they are saying.If your family member has a reputation of being difficult, you should pay attention to what they say out of habit.It's a good idea to take the time to hear them out.Think about where they are coming from and whether the statement is correct.
Step 5: They should have complete freedom in one area.
Some relatives want to be involved in the situation.Allow your difficult family member to have complete control over their job.Giving them a purpose may keep them busy.If your cousin stands back and complains when others are cooking, ask them to set the table and tidy up the sitting area.
Step 6: You shouldn't try to change them.
You have to accept that it is a hard reality.This means letting go of the idea that someday they will show up and be easy to deal with.Accept the challenges that come with dealing with them.You can empathise with the person.Even if you don't agree with it, respect who they are as a person.Dealing with them doesn't seem like a challenge once you learn to accept them.
Step 7: They have positive qualities to be searched for.
Difficult family members get a bad rap.Everyone starts groaning and moaning when they show up.You will miss out on the good if you focus solely on bad qualities.The good side of the worst family members can be seen.Try to find it.Do you know if Uncle Charlie has a sweet-as-honey wife?There must be something good about him if he chose her.There is a soft spot below the surface.You may be able to see it if you spend more time with him.
Step 8: Plan to have an enjoyable interaction.
Setting an intention can change the way you interact with a difficult relative.Before you see them, tell yourself that you will have a good time.Your brain may think of ways to make that happen if you do that.Say something like, "Lunch today with my in-laws will be satisfying" and then come up with some ways you can make it better.If things go sideways, you could come up with a positiveAffirmation to repeat or a few neutral topics for conversation.
Step 9: Self-care can be practiced before.
Difficult family members can be very draining.You have little left to care for yourself if they require so much of your energy.Before interacting with them, address your needs.If you are going to stay with family on the weekend, you should book a day at the spa before you leave.Make sure you get plenty of rest and eat healthy.During your visits, make time for self-care as well.If you are visiting your family for a week, schedule a relaxing outing on your own.It is possible to relax and clear your head by taking a walk around the neighborhood.
Step 10: Don't let your boundaries get in the way of what you want.
You need to watch out for yourself when push comes to shove.Enforce your personal boundaries if a difficult relative becomes too much to handle.Your own health and well-being are protected by the boundaries you set with others.Let your relative know that you need more space.It's a good idea to say something like, "Uncle Ralph, please call me before you drop in for a visit."It's not always a good time for me to have guests over, and I need advance notice.
Step 11: Stand up for yourself.
You will need to assert yourself if your relatives violate your boundaries.You might decide to speak up for yourself and let your limitations be known to a difficult family member.Maybe a family member wants too much of you.You could say, "Aunt Lisa, I'm doing the best I can."I need you to back off and let me handle it.Micromanaging me is making it worse for us.
Step 12: It is a good idea to take a break from family.
If your relatives are making you angry, you might want to take a few days off.If you need to manage stress or minimize conflict, this is acceptable.Say something like "This is all becoming a bit much for me" to your family.I need to take a break.I'm going back into the city this weekend to clear my head.
Step 13: There are allies within the family.
It is possible to reach out to others in the family if you feel alone in dealing with a difficult relative.You can come up with more effective ways of dealing with the difficulties if you form alliances.You won't feel alone if someone understands how you're feeling.Say to your sibling, "I'm going to need some support in dealing with Cousin Harriet this weekend."Do you want to serve as my backup?
Step 14: You should lean on outsiders for support.
There is no one who can understand the problems within a family.Sometimes going outside the family can help to vent your frustration or take your mind off things.It is possible that people outside the family are more objective about the situation.When you need to take a break, lean on your friends.In the midst of your family reunion, ask your best friend to go out for drinks.You will look forward to escaping and having someone to talk to.
Step 15: If you need to cut ties, do it.
If difficult family members threaten your mental health and well-being, you might have no choice but to cut contact with them.Spending too much time worrying about your family members can ruin your life.You can either cut ties with the difficult person completely or you can no longer allow yourself to be pulled into the chaos they create.If you have a family member who is addicted to drugs and won't get help, you might say, "I'm sorry, but I have to get some distance for myself and my family."I don't want my kids in this environment.If you want to communicate your wishes to everyone involved, choose which aspect of "breaking ties" best suits your situation.It is possible to cut off contact permanently.It's possible to regain balance in the relationship with a little time and distance.