Some abuse does not result in bumps and injuries.Even though verbal abuse is more common than physical abuse, it can still scar you just as much.There are long-term negative effects of emotional abuse on your health and development.If your parents emotionally abuse you, the most effective thing you can do is set boundaries for yourself and maintain distance.It is possible to talk to others about the difficult situation you are in.Learning stress management skills and building up your self-esteem can help you deal with stress in the long run.
Step 1: Learn how to recognize abuse.
It can be difficult to separate the feelings that your parents cause from the actual abuse.You may start to feel bad about yourself if you don't know your parents are abusing you.You can start to recognize that what is happening is not your fault once you learn to identify abusive behaviors.You should put more distance between yourself and your parents.Control your own reactions to the situation.Understand why your parents do what they do and know that this behavior comes from them.If you get the help that you need to deal with the abuse, you will start to feel better.
Step 2: There are risk factors for abuse.
There can be emotional abuse in a family.There are a few factors that increase the risk of child abuse.If your parents abuse alcohol or drugs, have a mental illness such as depression, or were abused as children, you are more likely to be abused.Abused parents don't realize their actions are harmful.They may not know a better way of parenting, or that taking out their emotions on their child is abusive.Your parent can still be abusive even if they have good intentions.
Step 3: If you notice, your parent will humiliate you or put you down.
This type of abuse is not laughing matter and the abuser might try to pass it off as a joke.You are in an emotionally abusive situation if your parent frequently makes fun of you, belittles you in front of other people, or ignores your ideas or concerns."You're such a loser," your dad might say.I swear, you can't do anything right.In front of others, your parent may do this, causing you to feel bad about yourself.
Step 4: Do you feel controlled by your parent?
If your parent tries to control everything you do, gets angry when you make your own decisions, or ignores your abilities, then you may be in an abusive situation.People who engage in this type of abuse treat their victims like inferiors who are incapable of making good choices or taking responsibility for themselves.It is possible that your parent will try to make decisions for you.If you don't want to apply to a college, your mom might ask your guidance counselor about it.It is abusive for your parent to feel that they are just parenting.
Step 5: Do your parents blame you for things?
Some abusers have high expectations of their victims, but refuse to admit wrongdoing.Even things no reasonable person would criticize you for, may be blamed on you by people who engage in this kind of abuse.They may tell you that you are to blame for their problems because they don't want to take responsibility for themselves.You are held personally responsible for their emotions.If your mother blames you for being born because she had to abandon her singing career, it's not your fault.If your parents say their marriage fell apart because of the kids, that's blaming you for their inability to cope.Blaming someone for things they didn't do is abusive.
Step 6: Consider if you get the silent treatment frequently.
A form of child abuse is when parents pull away from their children and don't provide them with the emotional closeness they need.Does your parent ignore you when you do something to upset them, show little interest in your activities and emotions, or try to play it off as your fault when they distance themselves from you?You shouldn't have to pay for love and affection.This is not nice.
Step 7: Do your parents seem to have your best interests at heart?
Some parents may see you as an extension of themselves.It is impossible for parents like this to want what is best for you, even if they believe they have your best interests at heart.Ignoring your boundaries, trying to manipulate you into doing what they believe is best, and getting upset when you don't live up to their unrealistic expectations are some signs of narcissistic parenting.They will try to make everything about themselves if you pay attention to them.Your single parent may guilt-trip you by saying, "Well, I know you had a party to go to with your friends, but I'm so lonely here."You are always leaving me.This guilt-trip is abuse.
Step 8: Parents should be recognized for normal parenting behavior.
It's a part of being human that kids and teens make mistakes.It is your parent's job to step in during times of need.Natural disciplining and abusive behavior can be different.From the level of anger exhibited by your parent, you can tell if a parenting style is disciplining or abuse.It's common for your parent to be angry when you break the rules.The danger zone for your parent is when anger is driving the behavior or punishment.Abuse is when words or actions are done recklessly, knowingly, and with the intent to harm.Parents enforce guidelines and set consequences to protect you and steer you towards positive development, even if you don't like strict disciplining.Don't curse.It's best to not copy what your parents say at you.Some of your peers have good relationships with their parents.What are those relationships like?What kind of support do they get from their parents?
Step 9: Tell your stories to friends and loved ones.
It can be comforting to have someone to lean on.Ask your loved one for help.They can offer advice or positive words.You could say, "I know this may come as a shock to you, but my home life is pretty bad."When I'm older, my mom tells me I won't be anything.It's mostly words, but it makes me feel bad.People brainwash you into believing that no one will care, believe you, or take you seriously when they are emotional abuse.When you share with other people, you will be surprised at how much support you receive.
Step 10: There is a trusted adult with you.
If you are dealing with any kind of abuse at home, you should turn to someone you trust.Don't let your abusive parent get in the way of keeping secrets.In a situation where a kid doesn't have power, an adult can help.It is important to let other people know if you are being abused.Say something like, "I have been having some problems at home lately."If that feels more comfortable to you, you could write about how you are feeling and give them a note.If you told a teacher or coach that they didn't help, you should schedule a meeting with the school counselor.If you don't want to talk to someone in person, you can call a help line.The help line is open 24 hours a day.
Step 11: Seek help for mental health issues.
A lot of damage can be done by emotional abuse.You are at an increased risk of low self-esteem if you don't get treatment.The process of breaking negative beliefs and thought patterns created by emotional abuse can be difficult, but a counselor or therapist can help.A therapist who specializes in children or adults who are suffering abuse is a good choice.As you become comfortable with the therapist, you will share your experiences during therapy.The therapist will ask questions and give insights.If you are a kid, find out if your school offers counseling services, or ask a trusted teacher or administrator to help you connect with a counselor.If you can talk to a school counselor, you could say there have been problems at my house.My dad puts me down in front of other family members, even though he doesn't hit me.Can you help me?Check to see what your health insurance will cover if you are an adult.Many therapists accept payments on a sliding scale.
Step 12: Don't engage with verbal abuse.
When they start abusing you, don't stay around.You don't have to stay, call, visit or expose yourself to abuse.Don't allow your parents to guilt you into taking their bad treatment.It's possible to stay around your siblings or friends.If you have older siblings, ask them for help or even a younger sibling if they are mature and smart.Stick to the boundaries.If they abuse you, stop coming over or calling.If they insult you or yell at you, retreat to your room or a friend's house.If you stay in touch, set limits.If you say cruel things to me, I will hang up.If you do not want to be involved in an argument, you don't need to.You don't have to defend yourself or respond to what they say.
Step 13: Financial independence is achieved.
If you have the choice, don't live with an emotionally abusive parent.Abusers try to maintain control by creating dependence.You can make your own friends and earn money at the same time.Don't depend on abusive parents.If you can, get an education.You can apply for federal student loans without your parents.This usually requires a mental health professional to tell you that your parents were abusive.As soon as you can, move out.Make sure to take care of yourself and draw boundaries if you can't afford college without living with abusive parents.
Step 14: You should consider cutting ties.
It is possible that you feel obligated to fulfill a duty to your parents.If your parents have been emotionally abusive, you might find it triggering to care for them.If your relationship is more painful than loving, consider cutting ties.You don't owe anyone a debt of care.If you have to cut ties, remember that you did it for a good reason.You don't have to explain why you cut ties with your parents to community members.If you decide to become your parents' caregivers at some point, focus on their care.Make it clear that you will not tolerate this type of behavior if they become abusive or insulting.
Step 15: If you have any, protect them.
Don't put your kids through the same abuse that you did.If your parents insult your children, intervene.Either end the conversation or stop by.You can say, "We don't talk to Eli that way."If you have an issue with the way he eats, you can talk to me.It is important for your children to see and hear you protect them in the event of abuse, even though most adult conversations should be conducted in private.Children who are not abused by their grandparents will have a happier childhood.
Step 16: Don't let your abuser's triggers happen.
You already know the things that set your parents off.It may be easier for you to avoid them if you know they are there.One way to identify contributing factors to abuse is to talk with a friend or journal about it.If your mother yells at you when she is drinking, try to get out of the house as soon as you see her with a bottle.Don't tell your father about your successes if he tries to diminish them.Tell people who support you.
Step 17: There are safe places in the house.
You can find safe havens in your bedroom.You can spend your time at a library or a friend's house if you find another place to hang.You can get support from your friends at this time, but you can't get along with your parents.It is smart to protect yourself from abuse, but it is not your fault if you get caught.It is not an excuse for a parent to abuse you.
Step 18: A safety plan can be created.
It can't escalate if the abuse is not physical.If your life is at risk, you should develop a plan to keep yourself safe.Having a place to go that is secure, having someone to call for help, and knowing how to take legal action against your parent are all part of a safety plan.A plan that helps you feel prepared in case of a crisis can be put together by you and another adult.Keeping your cell phone charged and nearby you at all times is part of a safety plan.
Step 19: People who make you feel good about yourself are the people you should spend time with.
The antidote for emotional abuse is healthy self-esteem.People who have been emotionally abused tend to have a negative view of themselves, and they end up in relationships with emotionally abusive people.Fight low self-esteem by spending time with friends, non-abusive family members, and other people who build you up.It is possible to build self-esteem by participating in activities that you are good at.You can participate in a sport at school or in your community.This will make you feel better about yourself and get you out of the house more.
Step 20: Personal boundaries should be set.
You have the right to set boundaries in your relationships.Inform your abusive parent which behaviors you are comfortable with and which are not, if you feel safe doing so.If your parent ignores your boundaries, what consequences will you have?Abusers may not respect your limits.Don't feel guilty about following through with your consequences if this happens to you.It's important to follow through with your consequences because making empty threats will make you seem less credible.You could say, "If you come home drunk and bully me again, I will go and live with grandma."I would like to stay with you, but your behavior scares me.
Step 21: Learn how to manage stress.
Sometimes emotional abuse can cause long-term problems like depression, and sometimes it can generate a lot of stress.Use positive activities to help manage this stress.On a day-to-day basis, yoga, meditation, and deep breathing can help you feel calmer and more collected.If your symptoms are severe, it's a good idea to see a therapist.
Step 22: Define and focus on your positives.
You are a good person no matter what your parent tells you.Don't listen to what they have to say.It is important for you to build up your self-esteem and pour love into yourself if you are not getting this from a parent.Do you like listening to yourself?Generous?Is it intelligent?Remember that you are worthy of love, respect, and care if you focus on the things you like about yourself.If you want to boost your self-esteem and confidence, be sure to engage in activities that are good for you.