If you want to win the heart of an available mom, the most important thing is to make her see that you can fit into her life without being a parent.Ask questions about her kids to show you are interested in getting to know them.Give her a well-deserved break from her busy daily routine by surprising her with a day of pampering, joining her for a quiet night in or helping her find some time to herself.Your relationship should be a bonus in her life, not the main feature, because her kids will command most of her attention.
Step 1: Show her that you know how to care for children.
Say hello to her kids and get them to smile.Try to compliment some aspect of their appearance, like their favorite toy or new pair of shoes, or point out things you have in common like your love of ice cream.Getting her kids to like you is a sure way to get her approval.If you have a younger sibling or your own child with you, you can provide a convenient icebreaker to help you make that initial introduction.Before you give her kids gifts, make sure it's okay with her.
Step 2: Take a liking to her kids.
Bring up the little ones, instead of making the conversation about her.Ask about their hobbies and names.She can gush and assure you that her responsibilities as a single parent won't scare you off.Try not to be too eager to get to know her kids.It will take some time for her to feel comfortable with you.Why the child's other parent is no longer in the picture should not be asked.She might think this is a violation of her privacy.
Step 3: The people around you should be treated well.
She spends most of her time tending to another person's needs and puts her best manners on display.To wow her, you need to demonstrate that you can think of someone other than yourself.You should tip generously if you are out for dinner or drinks.Your generosity will be noticed.
Step 4: Don't cut out habits that are not kid friendly.
If you are guilty of a vice such as smoking, drinking, or listening to inappropriate music, now is the time to give up.Staying out too late is a harmless but inconvenient behavior.If your lifestyles are too different, she won't think that things can ever work.When her kids are around, don't use curse words or make crude jokes.The language should be kept.
Step 5: She needs to be willing to change her schedule.
Single moms don't usually keep regular hours.She might stick to a fixed calendar week in and week out, or only be able to go out when a night opens up unexpectedly.Do your best to fit in with her own schedule.She will be able to pencil you in if you give her enough notice.If something happens to one of her kids, be prepared for last-minute changes or cancellation.
Step 6: You should care for her whenever you get the chance.
One of her rare moments of downtime is when she needs a massage or manicure.If she hasn't had a day off in a while, offer to keep the kids busy for an hour or so while she enjoys a soak in the tub or takes a much-needed nap.She will appreciate it when you come to see you as someone she can rely on for care and affection.After an exhausting day of shuttling back and forth to schools, practices, and recitals, offer to pick up takeout or rub her shoulders.She will feel special when you show her how important her needs are.
Step 7: Help her find someone to watch her.
She is probably all too familiar with securing the services of a reliable babysitter.She won't have a chance to worry about it before she sees it.It's a win-win if you hire a babysitter.It makes her life easier and allows the two of you to spend more time together.If you don't know where to look, you can browse the listings on nanny-for-hire sites.You can choose a sitter that comes recommended.Mom will not leave her kids with someone who is not trustworthy.
Step 8: It's a good idea to treat her to a relaxing night in.
Instead of going out on a date, cook her dinner at her place or watch a movie on the couch after she puts the kids to bed.The occasional night out is nice, but what most single moms want more than anything else is a chance to rest.All the details should be taken care of by you.She will only have to kick back and take a break.You won't have to coordinate your schedules, hire a babysitter or deal with the stress of being away from home if you stay in.
Step 9: Help her with her support and encouragement.
Sometimes all a single mom needs is to hear that she is doing a good job.You can express your admiration for her dedication, strength, and independence by taking every opportunity to do so.She can be reminded that it is all worth it with a kind word.She might be feeling self-conscious about her situation, so look for opportunities.You could say "I think it's wonderful that you do so much to keep your kids happy" if she were to break a date.
Step 10: Don't let your parenting opinions get in the way of your own.
Support and advice are not the same thing.Unless she specifically asks for your input, it is best to let her raise her children the way she sees fit.The irreconcilable differences that could spell the end for the relationship could be caused by her stepping on her toes as a parent.You don't need to assume the role of parental figure just because you see a mom.Until she specifically asks for more, you're simply there to help.If you want to learn more about how she does things, you should question one of her decisions.Try asking "Is it okay for Alex to have candy this close to dinnertime?" instead of saying "You really shouldn't feed your kids so much sugar."
Step 11: When she needs it, give her space.
Your attention is one of the most thoughtful gifts you can give, but knowing when to pull back can do wonders for her mental health.She only has a limited amount of time available, so she may want to read, exercise, or be alone with her thoughts.It's important to let her care for herself.She might not tell you when she needs a break.Ask her if she will have to.Think of space as an investment in your relationship.The more fruitful your time together, the better she feels.
Step 12: Do not play games.
The rules of courting don't apply to single moms.She has more important things to do than wonder if you will text her back or not.You should be straightforward about your motives.Don't waste her time if you do not intend to be there for her.Don't promise you'll keep it.If you let her down, you will send a message that you aren't reliable, and that's not the kind of person she wants to have around.
Step 13: Understand that her children need her more than you do.
A mother is always thinking about her children.That doesn't mean she's not interested in you.She needs someone who understands how seriously she takes her role as a provider.It can be rewarding to form a connection with someone as caring and nurturing as a single mother if you stick around and be patient.There is no reason to be resentful of her children.They are her life and not something that is getting in the way of it.